Dear People for Whom Father's Day Is Hard

I know today probably isn't a very good day for you. It's probably really hard seeing all these celebrations of father-child relationships, while yours is either one of abuse, strained or non-existent. Please don't feel bad about feeling bad today. You don't owe anyone your happiness. Father's Day--aside from being another capitalist sham masquerading as a holiday--is a triggering day for some people.

Similar to Valentine's Day, Father's Day goes a great job of reminding people what they don't have. My relationship with my father has been strained for most of my life, and Father's Days were challenging for me, and today seems more confusing than anything else. This isn't about me, though.

I want to just say that there are people who see you and love you for who you are and what you've been through. It's hard to get through life, but it's even harder if you lack parental/mentor figures in your life, and nearly unbearable when you don't have them but are forced to watch the joy these relationships create, through the people around you. It's not exactly a first place trophy but it's a victory to survive this nevertheless.

For what it's worth, you're not the only one. There are people everywhere feeling exactly like you feel right now. Lonely. Confused. Angry. You don't have to face this battle alone. Find the people you trust in your life and tell them how you feel. Don't feel guilty being vulnerable, either. You're not being dramatic and you're not asking for too much.

Remember this above all else: feelings are not fact. Just because you feel bad doesn't mean everything is bad. It's ok to be bummed about Father's Day, but don't let it make you forget all that you've been able to do personally, mentally, emotionally, and professionally without a father figure. It might not be something that's easy to celebrate because we're not really taught to celebrate ourselves, but maybe take the day to treat yourself.

Go see a movie you've wanted to see for a while. Take a trip to the spa or nail salon. Buy lots of snacks and watch Netflix. Do whatever makes you happy. Reclaim the day or ignore it entirely. Do you, and don't let anyone hurt you too deeply. Father's Day is hard but you've been through and survived much worse than one silly day can muster.