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10 Realities About Dating a Closeted Queer Woman

10 Realities About Dating a Closeted Queer Woman

10 Realities About Dating a Closeted Queer Woman
brianasalese

For the older generation of lesbians/bisexuals/queers, dating a closeted person was simply part of life. At the time, there were a lot more women who weren’t as comfortable being out. So if you were like, “I’m a woman and I’m trying to sleep with other women,” that meant you were going to date (at some point) a closeted woman.

oitnb

Although landscapes, perceptions and times have changed, for whatever reason, some women still choose to stay in the closet. Although that doesn’t mean they're avoiding romantic relationships — it does mean that whomever they’re dating will endure everything that comes with being closeted.

1. You will never feel like you can be 100% you in public.

idk

There’s always the element of being “on” so that you aren’t outing the person you’re with.

2. Hiding your relationship and feeling the thrill of being secretive can be sexy.

secret

It's easier to stomach when you’re young and not focused on how sad closets can be.

3. There’s no hand holding in public.

hold hands

It makes it easiest to just not touch her, so you can remind yourself not to grab them and nuzzle your face into their neck while waiting in line for a sandwich.

4. You will never be introduced as anything other than a friend.

friends

Which sucks, no matter what.

5. Kissing and PDA is a a behind-closed-doors activity.

makeout


Which is about as fun as you make it, so try to make it fun.

6. You’ll have a preset platonic story.

dont worry

Because you can’t tell them you made out in a bar, or started texting from a lesbian app.

7. You might need to hide your relationship from mutual friends.

secret

You can’t blow her cover, so you'll be giving into less-than-honest answers and sometimes straight up lies.

8. She might talk about liking men in front of you.

no

Which is seriously fucked up, so if it seems that the conversation is headed there, we suggest you get up and leave.

9. Holidays and birthdays suck.

holidays

Especially if your friends know about her, but not about her, because it’s one more thing to have to worry about.

10. You will have a lot of coming out conversations.

sadface

And, also chat about her close minded family.

What have you experienced while dating a closeted queer girl?

Briana Gonzalez lives and works in San Francisco with her girlfriend and their two pugs (Irie + Tootzy). Follow her on Twitter and Instagram to see what hilarity she finds herself in next.

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Briana Gonzalez

<p>A proud, queer, Latina, identical twin with a penchant for brash humans and things that make me cough laugh.</p>

<p>A proud, queer, Latina, identical twin with a penchant for brash humans and things that make me cough laugh.</p>