Everyone is online dating now. It’s gone from being a seedy, taboo habit to a quick and fun way to meet people in your area, and if you're not doing it, you should be. But watching people get it wrong is *SO FRUSTRATING.* It’s not hard, folks. Don’t do these things, it’s putting people off.

1. The Blank Box

Writing OHMYGODIHATETHESETHINGS and then a slanty face emoticon isn’t going to get you messages. It’s just going to make the rest of us feel like fools for filling in our own profile properly. Like, we all have to do it, and if you can’t think of anything interesting to say about yourself then maybe you shouldn’t be dating.

2. The Anti List

So you’ve clicked in their profile, their pictures look great and you’re interested. Until you get to the dreaded Anti-List. Sentences like “I don’t date anyone with kids, no smokers, drinkers, or drug users.” “No butch girls." Or my personal favourite, “No bisexuals, sorry” are internet dating suicide.

I mean, come on now, personal preference is fine but that’s part of getting to know someone when you start chatting. Don’t paste how fussy and discriminatory you are as a first impression. Especially if it’s something utterly stupid like biphobia. Get over yourself.

3. Group Shot Galore

You need to have pictures of yourself up, that’s a given. But half of these need to be of just you, not you gallivanting with your friends in each shot. I mean I’m all for seeing that you’re sociable and having fun, but trying to pick who you’re talking to out of a plethora of crowds is incredibly time consuming. This is not dating Where’s Waldo.

4. Same Face

As we’re on the pictures, taking selfies of your face in exactly the same position six times and uploading them is pointless. Mix it up. Also,  bathroom selfies are tacky. Stop that shit.

5. Cliché’s

Long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners and music. Who DOESN’T like music? Or that goddamn Marilyn Monroe quote that everyone thinks is SO UNIQUE. You have a very short space to sell yourself. Filling your box with cliché’s is going to get your profile passed over.

Essentially, online dating is terrifying, but keep your profile at a three paragraphs or less and add in a conversation starter. Places you’d like to travel, celebrities you’ve met or the fact you take yoga classes and suck at them. That’ll get you more messages than listing that you won’t date someone who isn’t a vegan too.

The sentence on my dating profile that gets me the most messages is “Ask me why I got barred from a gym this year," so think of something unique and intriguing and make sure you stand out.

Then prepare yourself. Because if you thought online dating was nerve wracking? Wait for your first online-aquired date. That’s when it gets utterly terrifying.

About the Author: E J Rosetta is an LGBT Columnist and coffee addict living in Hampshire with her spoiled cat, Hendricks. More ramblings can be found on Facebook or via Twitter @EJRosetta