In every relationship, there are good times and there are bad times. It’s the natural progression of things. On the upswing, you’re having sex every night, cuddling in public and living as if it’s just the two of you in the world. When you’re down, none of that is happening.

If you love your partner, and know that what you two are going through is minor, there are lots of things that can be done to smooth over the hardest times.

1. Try talking through it.

Communication is always the key to working through things and you're both mature, civilized adults. Focus on being calm, transparent, and this will likely free up a lot of that tense air.

2. Go to a sentimental spot.

Remember the first place you kissed? That bar you took the first strip of film photos? Maybe the restaurant you met their siblings at over a mimosa brunch? Go back to the spots that you had good times, and remind each other, and yourselves, what the good times looked like.

3. Take a staycation.

Perhaps the reason you’re seeing a rift form is because of work stress, but no matter the issue, the rigors of work schedules will always intensify a situation. Taking a weekend to pamper yourselves, however the two of you choose to define that, and it will leave you feeling refreshed, and give you opportunities to reconnect.

4. Do what you love, together.

Everyone has a hobby they enjoy doing solo, but being able to do that in the company of another is a closeness like no other. Maybe you partner plays the guitar, and you love to write. Maybe you like drawing, and they’re into practicing yoga. Whatever the activities may be, being able to do something that feeds your soul while they’re doing something that feeds theirs is a simple and easy way to get some fulfillment while also functioning as working on your relationship.

5. Read the same book.

This may sound silly, but being able to connect on another story can help to alleviate the pressure to connect in your relationship story. Reading allows a person to escape the situation they’re in, and if you can connect through doing that, it makes what your escaping less charged. It might even open up conversations that you hadn’t thought of having.

6. Spend a day on the beach.


Understandably this technically only applies to couples who live near oceans, but this can be adapted to a variety of natural geological locations. Maybe you live near a forest, or a lake, or a mountain? Spending time in nature and enjoying simple activities like playing in the sand, letting waves crash on your heads, or checking out animals on a trail together, allows you to connect to something bigger than yourselves, and can oftentimes result in gaining perspective on your relationship.

7. Go to a spa.

Alright, we’ll admit this is definitely a #firstworld suggestion, but you can make this suggestion yours, by adapting it to what feels right for the two of you. You could go do a bougie day spa at your local resort or drive to natural hot springs. No matter, the goal is to enjoy deep, thoughtful relaxation together, with the intent to break down any negative feelings the two of you had been harboring.

8. Exercise together.

The first remedy a medical professional will prescribe for stress, anxiety or depression is always exercise. Exercising releasing endorphins which make you happy (remember Legally Blonde?), and getting a sweat in together means you’ll be getting those happy endorphins together. It’s worth a try, and even if it doesn’t work the first time, nobody ever regrets working out.

9. Focus on being affectionate.

When there is a strain on any relationship, the first thing that usually goes is affection. Affection is almost half of the reason the two of you connected in the first place, and it’s something humans crave. Focusing on showing your love through hand holding, neck kisses, and impromptu hugs, will remind your partner of whatever it is they’ve forgotten.

10. Unexpected acts of kindness.


Most of us will automatically think this means buy them some flowers, but you don’t need to be so one-track minded. Write them a letter, make them something special, buy them a sweet card, surprise them with something they’ve been wanting or needing. Make them a bacon bouquet. Doing something that they are expecting, and setting the example that they’re on your mind more than they may think, will send a very powerful message.