On September 29th, Tony-winning Broadway star Laura Benanti (Gypsy, The Sound of Music, and Into the Woods as well as ABC's Nashville) took to the Huffington Post to pen a deeply personal essay about her experience after a miscarriage. It's an emotional piece filled with a unique honesty that brings the reader into her life from the moment she and her fiancé believed they would be having a baby to her current journey to keep the word "miscarriage" from being something people are afraid to say.
"The day I found out I was pregnant was the happiest day of my life," Laura shared in the extensive essay, "I had wanted to be a mom for a long time, and at 36 it was finally happening. When my fiancé, Patrick, and I first saw and heard our little peanut's heartbeat, a wave of love washed over me that I had not known was possible. Patrick and I loved each other so much that we created a person together, and that person was living inside my body. I felt like I was experiencing a miracle."
However, a half-hour after the appointment she began cramping and bleeding. Though she hoped she'd pull through just fine, it ultimately turned out that she'd had a miscarriage. But the article isn't about the particular pain that comes after this experience; it instead details her realization that she was not alone and her ultimate goal to help others realize the same.
"After this happened to me, I spoke with women I felt relatively close to, who had experienced the same thing, and I had never even known. The most common response I was given after telling someone I had just experienced the big M was, 'This is SO common. This happens to SO many women.'
Really?!
Well, if this is so common, then why do we only speak about it in whispers, if we speak about it at all?
If this is so common, why does it feel like the Voldemort of women's issues?
The "M" that must not be named.
If one says the word "miscarriage" out loud, does that feed its evil powers? Do we fear that communing over this type of loss only makes it grow stronger?"
Laura's piece challenges common social practices surrounding miscarriages while respectfully understanding that everyone has a different way of handling these occurences in their personal lives. It's a detailed examination of a tragic yet rather common life experience many women have that goes undiscussed and/or delicately treated that's written with a friendly, personal point of view that's easy to connect to. Her final thoughts on this are moving, intense, and rather beautiful.
"My purpose in writing this is simply to say, if you are part of this sisterhood, you are not alone.
This is not your fault.
You did nothing to deserve this, or make it happen.
You can grieve for as long (or as short) a time as you need.
You are allowed to talk about this (or not talk about this) with whomever you want.
You, and only you, will know when the clouds have passed.
It seems to me that we, as a culture, haven't quite learned how to broach this painful subject. My hope is that talking about it in an open forum can be healing in some small way. Sometimes it can be helpful to know that someone out there has felt the same pain as you, and that they are holding you in their heart.
I am holding you in mine."
You should definitely read the entire post at this link. Laura is bringing a necessary and very real voice to this conversation, and we hope it continues in the future.
