People always say college is a time to explore. "Go out and join some clubs!" "Try new things!" "Expand your mind!" How many times have you heard one of these cliché tidbits of advice? Yes, college is undoubtedly a time for exploration – sexual and otherwise – but exploration, especially if it's something you haven't done, might not be as simple as "Get on out there and do it!"
Exploration can be terrifying, and while there's definitely no correct, one way to "explore" during college, here are some things that you can do and think to enhance your explorative process...
1. Don't let fear of rejection cripple you
Fear or rejection is the main impediment that hinders people from exploring in college. But rejection does, in fact, get easier. You will fear rejection from not only the people you're attracted to, but from your friends, family, and even yourself. You will get rejected at some point in college. It's inevitable. Keep your chin up high and keep trudging along.
2. Don't get hammered whenever you do something
I'll be the first to say it: getting hammered can be a ton of fun. Often, liquor acts as that much-needed liquid courage that helps us overcome our social anxiety. Trust me, I get it. But make sure not to get hammered every weekend or to only have the confidence and courage to explore while inebriated. Otherwise, you'll find yourself addicted to alcohol pretty quickly.
3. Use the three-second rule
The three-second rule is a rule pick-up artists use, but it can be used in to more than just approaching someone you're sexually interested in. The idea is simple. After deciding you want to talk to someone—doesn't matter who it is—you have to talk to them within three seconds. The first few times this happens, it may be awkward. The conversation might go, "Hi, how are you?" and they say, "Good and you." You reply, "Good," and then you both have nothing else to say. That's fine. You'll get over the awkwardness, and you'll get better and meeting new people. But in order to explore, you need to feel comfortable approaching everybody, and this can only happen through practice.
4. Know that you can still say no
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Just because you're trying out new things, doesn't mean you have to say yes to every little opportunity or invite that comes your way. Sometimes we get so excited when we start exploring, that we say yes to anything and everything. Just because you're stepping out of your comfort zone doesn't mean you have to agree to every little thing. Say no when you're overcommitted, not interested, or think something is too dangerous.
5. Don't feel any guilt or shame for exploring
Part of exploring is discovering the things you don't like. Inevitably you'll cross a line, trying something you really dislike, or do something stupid. This is good. This is a learning experience. Don't feel guilty about it. Simply learn from your experience and move on.
So it's time. School is back in session. Start stepping outside your comfort zone and explore!
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