23 Thoughts Every Closeted Gay Boy Had While Shopping at Abercrombie

Alexander Kirk

If you were a teenager in the ‘90s, ‘00s, and even the ‘10s, you remember that rush of energy you felt the minute you smelled 'Fierce' halfway across the mall.

Although Abercrombie & Fitch was the mecca of high school fashion, it was also undoubtedly the shirtless men that made the brand your all time fave. Here are 23 thoughts that crossed every closeted gay boy’s mind when shopping at Abercrombie and Fitch.

1. "The lengths I would go to be a female and get a photo with that shirtless greeter."

2. "Don’t look him in the eyes! Mom will catch you!"

3. "AH! Don’t look at his body either!"

4. "Am I attracted to him, or do I just want to look like him when I’m older?"

5. "Both, definitely both."

6. "Ok, we made it past the live, shirtless men. Moving on to very large black-and-white photos of shirtless men."


8. "I need to start working out."

9. "Am I too young to start working out?"

10. "OMG what if I start working out and become an Abercrombie model?! #goals"

11. "Focus on the clothes; the really, really cute clothes."

12. "OMG I love this cologne...but will it make me smell gayer or straighter?"

13. "I want this magazine so damn bad. I NEED to come back here without my mom."

14. "But wait, I can’t pay for these $80 jeans without her. WHAT IS THIS TORTURE?"

15. "I want the super hole-y jeans, but I feel like those are really gay…"

16. "Semi hole-y jeans it is."

17. "OH! Let me pair these jeans with flip-flops; ery chunky, very leathery flip-flops. Perfect."

18. "Please don’t let me see anybody from school here."


20. "Why is god punishing me by letting all the hot guy-workers help me."

21. "If my mom wasn’t here, I would’ve totally hit on that cashier. 100%."

22. "Okay, we're leaving now. It's time to stop with the fantasies."

23. "OMG! THE DAYLIGHT! God is burning them out of me."

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