25 Types of Guys Every Gay Man Dates in His Life

As we mature, we find that our attractions to men evolve. Depending on where we are in life, we need different types of men to meet our needs. So here’s a list of 25 types of guys we’ve all dated at some point in our lives. (If you haven’t yet, don’t worry, there’s still time.) Everything from the trust-fund baby to the geek fanatic.

He’s a hipster. He’ll deny it to the very end, but oh my god, is he a hipster. His mustache game is on point, and he only drinks craft beers. He works at a bike shop, but he's also working on a modern art installation in Williamsburg. You date him because he just seems so freakin’ cool.  

Yas, KWEEN. As drag queens become more mainstream in the gay community, and genderbending is no longer considered “weird,” more and more men are down to date a gender-bending, down-with-the-binary, drag queen who teaches them how to embrace both their femininity and masculinity.

We’ve all been there. Not necessarily in an official “sugar daddy” context, but we’ve all dated that older man who doesn’t mind spoiling us. He doesn't expect us to split the bill. He just enjoys spending time with us.

He loves comic-con and goes to every costume party and cosplay event he can. He’s obsessed with Doctor Who and Sherlock. He’s glued to his computer playing Mass Effect, and when you date him, you’re going to have to see the new Star Wars episode opening night.

Ivy Leagues have a ton of gay men at them, so at some point in your dating career, you’ll inevitably find yourself dating a guy who went to Harvard, Princeton, Yale or some other Ivy. He’ll be driven, bright, and a tad bit pretentious.   

Everyone says you guys seriously look and act alike. You don’t see it at all, but years down the road, you look at a picture or you recall dating him, and it hits you, Oh my god, we were literally the same person.

He really likes  his dog/cat. Really likes. To the point where you honestly think that he can’t be in a serious relationship with you because he’s already in a serious relationship with Snickerdoodle. 

After a rough patch of dating, you think to yourself, “Screw it, I don’t need a man!” And guess what? You’re 100% right. So you focus on yourself and do a bunch of self-care to learn to love  yourself again.

So this doesn’t happen to every guy, but I know a number of men who have fallen in love or briefly dated their best friend after years of close friendship. For some reason, something changes, and instead of seeing your best friend platonically, you suddenly see him with something more in your eyes.

He keeps texting you, even though you think he’s straight. He then, not-so-subtly hints that he’d like you to be his first male kiss. Or he’ll say he wants to cuddle with you, and you’re not sure if he’s closeted, confused, or something else.

Not all gay men dated a woman, but many of us did. We were in high school, and trying to force ourselves to be straight, so we dated Rachel for a short period before breaking up with her.

We’ve all been there. We’re dating this kind, sensitive, handsome guy. The sex isn’t half bad either... But for some reason, one you can’t articulate, you just don’t have that spark. You desperately want to like him passionately, but you know you can’t force it.

There’s a much higher prevalence of alcoholism in the gay population than among straight people, so it’s highly likely you date an alcoholic at some point. You might not realize it in the beginning, because, hey, you’re a big drinker too, until a month or so into dating you realize his drinking is an actual issue.

The business-exec, CEO, career-driven gay man who works 60+ hours a week...You like him and his drive, but you need to decide whether you want to be in constant competition with his career -- always fighting for his time.

You didn’t know it about him in the beginning, but it turns out he’s kinky as all hell in bed. You stick around with him a little, so you can explore some fetishes you didn’t even know you had.

We’ve all dated guys who’ve cheated on us (If not, you’re a lucky man). We were devastated when we found out. The key is not letting that relationship influence our new ones. Don’t become untrusting of all men, or build this huge wall because one guy screwed you over. It was just one guy. Don’t give him that power. Learn from it and move on. 

He’s funny. He’s smart. He’s creative, loving, and handsome. You are completely smitten with him, and he’s head-over-heels with you. You (rightfully) know that he will be the man that you’ll be spending the rest of your life with.

He is fabulous. Outgoing, fun, and slightly narcissistic, actors are great to date. They’re always the life of the party. Sure, they can be self-centered at times, and never shut up about their next audition, but there’s never a dull moment dating them.

Like alcoholism, hard drug addiction is a huge problem in the gay community, so at some point in your dating career, you’ll most likely date a guy who’s in recovery. He may be clean and sober for a few months or a decade, but he won’t casually drink or do drugs with you.

The guy who’s not in recovery but should be. You date him while you’re in your savior-complex mode. You do everything in your power to help him turn his life around because he truly is a fabulous guy. He’s just struggling to overcome his addiction.

He’s sexy. He has money coming in from somewhere. He’s fun, and for a while, you’ll be swept up by his partying lifestyle. 

When you’re a little older than he is (or a lot older), and you miss dating guys who aren’t jaded, that’s when you date the arm candy. You just want to date a guy who’s fun, outgoing,  who still likes to party, and who looks sexy.

He takes many forms. He could be the first guy you dated seriously while you were in college, and he wasn’t out yet. It could be years down the line when you meet a gay man and develop deep feelings for him, only to learn he’s married to a woman. You pray they’ll come out sooner than later, but you know you can’t wait forever for them.

The sex is so good that honestly, you’re not even sure if you like him or not. The sex and your attraction to him cloud your judgment, and it takes a few months to realize that there actually isn’t much of a real connection there.

You’re not exactly sure where his money comes from. All you know is that he never works and drops dough like there’s no tomorrow. Finally, you realize that his family is supporting him. You’re not sure if you resent him for it or are simply jealous of him.