6 Signs He's Only Looking for Something Casual

6 Signs He's only Looking for Something Casual
Zachary Zane

It's tough breaking things off with someone. In fact, it’s so tough that most guys have absolutely no idea how to do it. Instead of being upfront, they "fade out." He’ll take a long time to respond to texts, until finally, he’ll just stop responding. Or he’ll say he’s always busy. Or something else entirely.

There's a bunch of nondirect ways to slowly ghost someone or to indirectly state, "I’m not looking for something as serious as you are right now." Sometimes though, it’s difficult to tell if he’s actually busy or trying to slow down the pace of the relationship.

So here are some ways to tell that he’s not on the same page as you are regarding commitment...

1. He never initiates the "I miss you" or "I really like you"

It's really, really difficult to not reciprocate when someone says they really like you. So the vast majority of the time, if you say something to his face, like "I really like you," he’s just going to say it back. You put him in this precarious position where the only way to be truthful if he doesn’t like you is to be blatant and hurtful in his response. So odds are, he’s just going to say it, even if he doesn’t mean it.

So a way to see if he really likes you, and in more than a casual way, is to see if after you say it once, he then says it some other time, without being prompted. If you’re always the first one saying how much you miss him, like him, and love spending time with him, that isn’t a great sign. Both you and he should be saying it.

2. He’s not initiating the hangout sessions

Just like reason one, this reason also has to do with who is initiating. If he’s never trying to hang out or invite you out to places, then he’s not looking for something more serious. Usually, it’s relatively split between who sends out the hangout invitation.

3. He’s not introducing you to his friends

When you like someone, and you think it may lead somewhere serious, you introduce the new guy you have a crush on to your friends. Everyone does this. Everyone wants to know what their friends think of the new guy they just started dating. So if he’s not doing this, it’s a big red flag.

4. He only gives you booty calls

So if the one time he does initiate something is at 2am on Friday night, especially after a week of rejecting your invites out because he was "too busy," then it’s clear what he wants from you, and where you two stand.

5. You’re not hanging out in public

Do all of your dates consist of staying in bed, having sex, and watching TV? Then that’s probably all he’s looking for. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with this, but just make sure that you’re on the same page as he is. Because odds are, he doesn’t want a more serious relationship.

6. There's no planning ahead

You: "Let’s plan a beach day next week! It’s supposed to be nice out then."
Him: "I’ll have to wait and see what my schedule is next week, but that could be fun!"

That would be a nice example of polite deflecting. In fact, you may take this as positive affirmation that he wants to go, but that’s not what what’s happening. He didn’t commit with a yes. He simply said it will be fun, and he’ll have to "look at his schedule." Now he may just be busy, but if he doesn’t get back to you with dates to hangout, and you have to keep reminding him, then it’s clear he doesn’t want to plan that far ahead with you.

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