20. When he cooks for you.
In the South, people cook you food. You offer someone food the minute they walk in the door. That’s not the case with urban homos in San Francisco or Los Angeles. Even in Atlanta, which its burgeoning West Coast influx, hookups rarely offer me food.
When a guy cooks for me or invites me to dinner, it’s the make-or-break moment. If I’m not interested, I’ll give a trademark excuse — “I have a deadline," “I have a client who wants to tie me up,” “My boyfriend needs me at home” — and leave. If I eat with you, I like you.
Remember that fluidity between hookup, friend, lover, and partner? That means that sometimes hookups stay hookups, sometimes they morph into friendships, sometimes friendships become boyfriends, and sometimes boyfriends, over time, become playmates again. Such is our world.
I tend to sleep with my friends, and some of my closest people started as one-night stands. But if you have a toothbrush at his apartment and are buying him socks, he means more to you. Say something. More than rejections and failures, we regret the loves we never tried to start.