Look, as far as our annual Orange Is the New Black official sex scenes ranking system goes, this season was a tough one. Following last season’s prison riot that—for the most part—made for a chaotic, captivating season, our beloved Litchfield crew is now scattered across the prison system, protecting old secrets and forming new alliances with an overwhelming amount of new characters that for some reason dominate story real-estate other characters deserved (while many favorites are MIA entirely). In a series usually burning with the fires of passion, this season was more of a slow burn to an upsettlingly unresolved finale where the only fun being had was on the kickball field. And not in a sexy way.
But we’re not about to give up on our duties here, and season six did still provide us with six new scene additions—for better or worse. Has the point of OITNB shifted from Piper and co.’s rollicking sex lives to the horrors of the prison system that targets inmates of color? Absolutely. But as long as Piper’s still trying to rally her fellow inmates for some nonsense cause that’s become an all-consuming passion, we’ll be here having a little fun with this deeply unsettling show. And please note the obvious: this is an opinion piece, not a scientific ranking. Additionally, scenes are only eligible if they involve actual sex or sex acts, meaning that make-out scenes (no matter how hot and bothered) will not be included. Now, let’s see what's new (but mostly reminisce about the good ol’ days)!