Milk Turned Sour on Last Night's Episode of All Stars 3

Phillip Henry

Halleloo, we’re back, hunty! What a week it was this week! After Thorgy’s very-welcomed elimination the girls returned to workroom! Upon seeing Thorgy’s lewd farewell message, Kennedy found herself offended on behalf of Shangela. (This is likely because of their close friendship and because Shangela opted to keep Kennedy in the competition, but her reaction was a bit exaggerated.)

Not to be pleasant for literally one second, Milk, (whose commitment to being the most unlikable this season is award-worthy) made it very clear that she did not agree not only with Kennedy’s take on the message, but also that she thought Kennedy deserved to go home (a complete farce to literally anyone who watched that challenge last week). BenDeLa revealed that she also chose Thorgy to be eliminated, which ultimately doesn’t matter, but it does speak positively of her decision-making skills.

With Milk already souring, the ladies pack it up and return to the workroom for a new day. Kennedy is still very upset with Milk suggesting that her drag is not good, which is an obvious attempt to get into her head. Ru enters in a beautiful blue suit to announce that this week’s challenge will be to compete in a unrehearsed spoof of the reality dating show The Bachelor, aptly called The Bitchelor. The queens are put in pairs and were all assigned different character types. Trixie as the fake bitch. Kennedy as the party girl. BenDeLa as a cougar. Bebe as a shy virgin. Milk as the stalker. Aja as a needy and insecure girl. And Shangela and Chi Chi as a polyamorous couple.

With no script to go on, this improv challenge was a chance for the quick-witted comedy queens to shine. Each queen made solo entries from a car to meet their suitor, the one and only Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman from UnREAL.

BenDeLa nailed it as the cougar, playing to all the necessary tropes: drinking a ton, Xanax references and a lot of cleavage. It was clear from the get-go that she was in her element. Trixie, another comedy queen, shined as well on her entry as the fake bitch. She came out on her phone channeling every LA socialite who runs on recreational drugs, daddy’s money, and a prayer. A not surprising but incredible entrance was made by Kennedy as the party girl who came equipped with her own flask and teeth. The other girls made very average entrances, but you could tell almost immediately they weren’t really connected to their characters the way the comedy queens were.  

For the second half of the challenge, the girls went on dates with the bachelor and their partner. BenDeLa and Bebe made for quite an odd couple (but also Bebe was just not great). It should be taken into account that playing a shy virgin next to Ben’s immaculate cougar would be a tough challenge for anyone, but Bebe still could’ve given more. Milk and Trixie took their turn with the suitor but Milk was so convinced she would nail it that she overshot her character and bombed. Her character also killed Trixie’s opportunity to shine after having two weeks of blending in with the crowd. For this, and many other things, Milk will never be forgiven.

Shangela is a great comedy queen, but she was paired with Chi Chi. I suspect this was because Ru wanted Shangela to carry the team, and that she did. It was just very difficult for either of them to shine because honestly, they weren’t given personality traits like the other queens. They were just given a relationship. Arguably, the option to choose your own character should make you more successful, but it didn’t here. Aja also struggled with this challenge because she didn’t really know what needy meant. Literally. It didn’t matter anyway, because even if she did, Kennedy was not going to be outdone. She nailed it. Every joke landed and she shined. In the eggplant ceremony, Jordan picks Ru as the winner and the girls are left with nothing.

The runway theme this week was "Wigs on wigs on wigs," inspired by Roxxxy Andrews. The girls did not disappoint. Aja served up an iconic body suit with sickening wigs. Trixie did her best Lady Bunny and BenDeLa’s wig reveal was a skirt made of hair. We GAGGED. The look of the night, however, was Shangela, who came dressed as an ear of corn and revealed that her second wig had POPCORN in it. A stunt. It was polished and professional and almost matched her bubble runway of the week before!

Kennedy and BenDeLa were selected as the top two and this week, three queens were in the bottom: Aja, Milk, and Chi Chi. In the lounge before the lip sync Kennedy decided that she didn’t need to have one-on-one meetings with the girls as she would make the decision on her own. BenDeLa did keep tradition and she sat down with each girl. In a surprise to literally no one, Milk cried over how she thought she believed she should’ve been in the top two again. I want to believe in anything as much as Milk believes in herself. The absolute delusion in which she operates on this show should be studied worldwide.

Kennedy and BenDeLa lip sync to "Green Light" by Lorde and it was very underwhelming. The song doesn’t really lend itself to great lip sync material, but Kennedy managed to pull something out and win the competition and the $10,000 tip. In a moment of Drag Race justice, Kennedy was able send Milk home the very same day Milk insulted her drag.

Next week is the best week of every season: SNATCH GAME! Literally cannot wait to see what characters the girls have in store for us. It’s gonna be a tricky one, because with a cast of nothing but likable characters left, each elimination will hurt more and more!

'Til next week!

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