Bette Midler has been a formidable force in music, movies, and theater over the course of her lifetime. Since joining Twitter five years ago, it was only a matter of time before she dominated the social sphere as well.
Her tweets are hilarious, poignant, and some of the shadiest damn things we’ve ever read! Here is the definitive ranking of Bette Midler tweets based entirely on shadiness.
13. When Chipotle and Costco could not recover
\u201cSuch bad luck re E. coli outbreaks at Chipotle and Costco! Thanksgiving, don't whine about dry turkey, be thankful if it doesn't kill you!\u201d— bettemidler (@bettemidler) 1448483864
12. Take that Rubio
\u201cMarco Rubio used his Florida @GOP credit card to pay for his minivan repairs. Come on, if you're going to embezzle, at least get a cool car!\u201d— bettemidler (@bettemidler) 1446898548
11. Trump's face
\u201c.@Trump hosted SNL w/musical guest Sia. What a pair: a gorgeous talent who hides her face and a braggart who'll put his face on anything.\u201d— bettemidler (@bettemidler) 1447010842
10. WTF Disney
\u201cWhat's that you say? Fast and the Furious has six sequels and Hocus Pocus has zero? #HocusPocus\u201d— bettemidler (@bettemidler) 1445986260
9. Where in the hell are the virgins?
\u201c.@kathynajimy .@SJP Breaking news!! SEQUEL DELAYED!! @Disney having trouble finding a virgin! #HocusPocus\u201d— bettemidler (@bettemidler) 1445886886
8. Going straight for Bobby's jugular
\u201cBobby Jindal ended his campaign. Who would've thought that "son of immigrants who hates immigrants" would be such an unpopular brand?\u201d— bettemidler (@bettemidler) 1448036251
7. Biden beware
\u201cJoe Biden announces he's not running for president. The headlines should read: America's Uncle Decides To Take Nap.\u201d— bettemidler (@bettemidler) 1445448291
6. Kim Davis the bigot
\u201cI'm tired of all the attacks on Kim Davis's fashion choices. I mean, no outfit is going to look good when you accessorize with bigotry.\u201d— bettemidler (@bettemidler) 1442339729
5. Bieber better believe her
\u201cJustin Bieber Instagrammed a picture of his butt. Or, as I like to put it, "Big ass posts pic of small ass."\u201d— bettemidler (@bettemidler) 1436532996
4. Yaaas, yaaas, all the yaaas
\u201cSickened by the German hunter who killed that beautiful elephant. Therapy to accept his small penis would've been so much cheaper.\u201d— bettemidler (@bettemidler) 1445038689
3. OMFG
\u201cPeople, #CaitlynJenner says she is STILL voting GOP in2016. Regardless of gender identity, I guess she identifies most as "uninformed."\u201d— bettemidler (@bettemidler) 1447956855
2. Oops
\u201cJustin Bieber\u2019s fans upset because Concert tickets w/VIP meet\nand greet cost $2000. Well, remember, we all got to see his penis for free!\u201d— bettemidler (@bettemidler) 1447887754
1. Dragged!!!
\u201cCrayola has launched a set of coloring books for adults! Hey, I guess Trump voters need something to read on the plane too.\u201d— bettemidler (@bettemidler) 1447450722
