A 2018 clip of actor Matt McGorry discussing how he has overcome the “shame” of experimenting sexually with guys is making the rounds on TikTok. The video comes from an episode of the roundtable talk series Man Enough that also included Derek Hough and Javier Muñoz reflecting on modern masculinity. 

In the episode, McGorry shared that although he identifies as straight, his past included exploring with other boys. “When I was young, like a lot of straight boys, I experimented with other boys. But that is so common and no one talks about it,” he said. When asked to clarify what he meant by that, by host Justin Baldoni, McGorry explained further. “Like, physically experimenting. I don’t think it was sexual, and I am straight never found myself attracted to boys, but it’s just this thing where I — and I don’t need to go into the full details — but, you know, where you just try things.”

While McGorry said his experiences aren’t uncommon, they still left him with shame for years, before he decided that he wanted to be open about them and hopefully encourage more honest conversations about sexual experiences among men. “I had so much shame about that, for years after, thinking ‘I’m going to be famous one day, maybe, and someone’s going to find and it’s going to become this thing and it’s going to destroy me,’” he recalled. “And maybe even at that point in time, it was a little less acceptable. But I spoke on a panel a little while ago and I was like ‘I’m going to say it here.’” 

McGorry added that keeping it secret only added to the feelings of shame. “That’s the way shame works. If you keep it in the dark, wet and moldy, it festers,” he explained. “And when you let it out there, not only are you giving other people the strength to live their truest lives, but you actually get people to see you authentically.”

Watch the episode here.