Coming out can be one of the hardest things to do...
...especially if you're deep in the closet or live in an unsupportive environment. Here are 10 problems almost all of us have experienced at one point or another while trying to come out.
Choosing who to come out to first
Mom? Dad? Your best friend? Your teacher? It's hard to choose who to start with. At least it's a little easier to come out a second time after your first.
Choosing the right time
Probably not a good time to come out right during the coming attractions in the movie theater. Right, okay. Maybe on the ride home? Why is this so confusing?!
Wondering who really has your back
When you come out, you figure out who really cares about you... and who doesn't. Sometimes there's pleasant surprises. Sometimes there's unpleasant ones.
Finding the right words
You can't really come out to everyone the same way. There's a "Mom and Dad" speech and a "best friend" speech and a "doctor" speech and a "stranger on the street" speech. Wow, a lot of speeches, actually.
Dealing with the nerves
I'm so nervous. What if I mess up my coming out? That would be so embarassing. Wait, why are my hands shaking so much? Oh man, now I'm even more nervous.
Hearing "you're just confused"
No, I'm not confused. I thought a long time about this before coming out. To think I respected you enough to be real with you. Blech.
Hearing "you're too young!"
If I'm old enough to feel sexual attraction, I'm old enough to know who I am and what I want.
Hearing "I can't respect your lifestyle"
It's not a lifestyle, it's...you know, me? My life? No one tells straight people they live a "straight lifestyle," so don't call my identity a lifestyle either, please.
Realizing all the people you have to come out to
Oh man. Does this mean I'm gonna have to come out to my teacher, and my doctor, and my priest, and my uncle? Gulp.
Looking back
Once it's all over, sometimes it's painful to look back on your coming out. But you did it, you made it through, and you know what you need to do the next time you need to disclose your identity.
