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Dear Elio, Here Are 15 Ways to Tell If a Guy Is Really Into You
Dear Elio, Here Are 15 Ways to Tell If a Guy Is Really Into You
In this year's critically-acclaimed, queer-themed film Call Me By Your Name, Elio (Timothée Chalamet) initially missed the signs that Oliver (Armie Hammer) was interested in him. Don’t make the same mistakes Elio did!
Here are 15 ways to tell if a guy is into you.
1. He texts you for no real reason other than to see how you're doing
“Good morning!” “How have you been?” “What have you been up to!”
If he’s texting you something like this—just to check in—that means he’s thinking about you. It means he has a little (or not-so-little) crush on you!
2. He’s touchy
Sure, many gay men are touchy, but if he’s overly touchy, then odds are he’s into you. Think about the scene in CMBYN when Oliver goes to massage Elio’s back. Then think about what Oliver said to Elio later about that incident.
3. When you touch him, his body reciprocates
When you put your hand on his thigh, he doesn’t move his leg away. He lets your hand stay there. Or he may even put his hand on your thigh. Or when you touch his back, he doesn’t recoil, he leans into you.
If he’s recoiling or doesn't seem comfortable with you touching him, he’s definitely not into you, and you should cool it with all the touching.
4. He laughs at all your jokes
If you’re spewing lame jokes non-stop, and he’s still laughing, either he has a terrible sense of humor, or (more likely) he likes you. So anything you say, no matter how stupid it is, he’ll still laugh at it.
5. He prefers Facetime over texting
If he wants to talk on the phone or Facetime, as opposed to text, then he is definitely interested. He wants to see that cute little face he's crushing on!
6. He introduces you to his friends
The friend introduction is a big one. If he’s not interested in more than something casual, he’s not going to waste his time introducing you to his crew. You only introduce a man to your crew if you want to get your friends' opinion and approval of the man you like.
7. He introduces you to his parents and family
I mean, this is a no brainer. The parental introduction has always been and always will be a big indicator of interest.
8. He wants to stay the night (or invites you to)
If he doesn’t want to stay the night or doesn’t invite you to, that doesn't necessarily mean that he’s not into you. Some people prefer sleeping alone, or they work early in the morning. There are a number of valid reasons why he might not want to spend the night. Nevertheless, if he does insist you stay the night, then he is interested for sure.
9. He makes intense eye contact when you’re hanging out
Have you ever had dinner with a guy and the whole time he’s looking you in the eyes? You’re always the one who has to break eye contact? That guy was definitely interested in you.
10. He asks if you’re seeing anyone
Any questions about who else you’re dating or having sex with is a telltale sign that he’s interested. He wants to see if you are willing to be (or already are) committed to him (and only him).
11. He initiates the hangout sessions
If he’s always the one asking to hang out, then he definitely likes you. That’s just clear as day.
12. He wants to know everything about you
If he’s asking question after question nonstop, wanting to know about your childhood, your family, your college years, and so on, then he’s interested. He wants to know you before he knows you. Know what I mean?
13. Your dates are more than Netflix and Chill
If you’re going out to parties together. If you’re seeing drag shows. If you and he paint the town red, then he likes you for realz.
14. He invites you on a trip
"Want to get away for the weekend?" is like the most obvious sign he likes you. If he says, "Let’s go to some cabin in the woods," bring some condoms girl, because once that fire gets going, you won’t be leaving that cabin.
15. He says how much he enjoys hanging out with you
Unless you have a reason not to take him at face value, you should do so.
If he says, "Hey, I had a lot of fun meeting you, we should do something else sometime!" then he probably is into you. Friends don’t say they had a “fun time,” and would like to “do it again sometime.” Friends just have fun times, and obviously want to hang out again together. Nothing needs to be said.
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a writer, YouTube influencer, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Check out his YouTube channel here.
Zachary Zane is a writer, YouTube influencer, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Check out his YouTube channel here.