A TikTok Exposed the Judgement & Fatphobia Men Deal With in Gay Bars
This video of a gay man getting viciously rejected at a bar has gone viral.
In the video, Tyler tells viewers that he’s worked up the nerve to go to a gay bar by himself for the very first time — and he’s “very excited.” The video cuts to a close-up of him drinking a cocktail and looking around nervously. Tyler says that people have been giving him dirty looks, but, despite that, he’s spotted a cute guy he wants to approach and talk to. He decides to go for it. From there, the video cuts to Tyler, now outside the club, visibly crying while walking down the street.
“I didn’t even finish my drink, I just straight up left,” he says. “I walked up to this dude I thought was cute and I was trying to like say, ‘hi.’ And he said I was too fucking fat to try to be flirting with people,” he said with a sob. “So I just left. And so definitely, definitely not going to be doing that by myself again.”
It’s a truly heartbreaking video that anyone who’s ever put themselves out there only to be rejected, or who’s felt judged for their appearance, can identify with.
Knowing this, it’s hardly a surprise that the video went viral, first on TikTok then again on Twitter, and that the internet had opinions.
Many people responded with kindness, offering their support to Tyler.
\u201c@chris_notcapn To see his hopeful optimism crushed like that - really hurt my heart. I hope he is ok...people are just mean for no damn reason. \ud83d\udc94\u201d— chris evans (@chris evans) 1636335365
\u201c@chris_notcapn This was painful to watch. I really hope he\u2019s doing okay.\u201d— chris evans (@chris evans) 1636335365
\u201c@chris_notcapn Oh god, I just want give him a giant hug.\u201d— chris evans (@chris evans) 1636335365
\u201c@chris_notcapn This is why I stay home. There\u2019s nothing in a gay bar for me. \n\nSending this being so much love! You stepped out of your comfort zone and it didn\u2019t work out, but that\u2019s ok. There\u2019s so many of us rooting for you and wishing you good things from afar. \ud83d\udc9c\u201d— chris evans (@chris evans) 1636335365
Others said this was evidence of issues in the gay community.
\u201c@chris_notcapn Seriously hate the duality of the gay community, preach acceptance love and wholesomeness, but will tear you down for being too dark, asian, fem, fat not white, not muscled. It's \n\nI feel for this guy, he doesn't deserve any of this. No one does! If I could give him a hug \u2764\ufe0f\u201d— chris evans (@chris evans) 1636335365
\u201c@chris_notcapn I\u2019m beyond disgusted. I would\u2019ve loved to have a drink with him! He\u2019s adorable & deserves a good guy to treat him right ! I have the same fear about going to bars and clubs alone so I understand his pain. Screw the community on being judge mental towards bigger men!\u201d— chris evans (@chris evans) 1636335365
And some took a more skeptical view of the video.
\u201c@chris_notcapn So just because he went to a bar and got rejected by someone he thought was cute and now we are blaming the gay community lol?\u201d— chris evans (@chris evans) 1636335365
\u201c@chris_notcapn Sooo he went to the bar for the first time , decided to record it and this happens ? I\u2019m not saying it\u2019s a lie but it seems real coincidental.\u201d— chris evans (@chris evans) 1636335365
Tyler himself responded when he saw it blowing up on Twitter, expressing his gratitude for those who had reached out with kind words for him.
\u201cSo many folks sending me love \ud83e\udd7a\ud83e\udd7a y\u2019all are so kind!!\u201d— Ziggi Tyler (@Ziggi Tyler) 1636395360