HIV 101: Can I Still Have Kids If I’m HIV-Positive?

When your initial test comes back positive (unless you’ve done the at-home test) you should be offered a confirmatory test, basically a second test to make sure you’re HIV-positive. The likelihood of two false positives is extremely rare. If you took the at-home test, it’s a good idea to go to a doctor or clinic to do the second test. Sadly, false-negative test results can happen too, so if you come up positive and your partner comes up negative, be cautious. According to AIDS.gov, the likelihood of a false negative depends on when you might have been exposed to HIV and when you took the test. “It takes time for seroconversion to occur. This is when your body begins to produce the antibodies an HIV test is looking for — anywhere from two weeks to six months after infection. So if you have an HIV test with a negative result within three months of your last possible exposure to HIV, the CDC recommends that you be retested three months after that first screening test. A negative result is only accurate if you haven’t had any risks for HIV infection in the last six months — and a negative result is only good for past exposure.”

Across all ethnicities, in the U.S. the group most affected by HIV infection is gay and bisexual men and other men who have anal sex with men (but for some reason don’t identify as gay or bi, dubbed MSM). Transgender women, especially women of color, are at a significantly higher risk as well, though exact numbers aren’t known because in many studies they are included, erroneously, in the MSM category. Black and Latino men and women and injection drug users have higher risk rates, but of course anyone (straight, gay, black, white, whatever) who has condomless anal or vaginal sex is at risk.

With proper treatment, being HIV-positive is a manageable, chronic condition like lupus, diabetes, or asthma. You might need to exercise caution with some of your regular activities. Unless you had other health conditions prior to diagnosis, you’ll likely see a physician more than you did before because it’s vital that you monitor your health closely. Regular visits with your HIV health care provider will keep you up to date on everything concerning your health. Speak with your doctor about changes that need to be made to your diet, exercise regimen, and use of alcohol, prescription medicines, and recreational drugs. If drugs were a factor in your transmission (there’s a link between crystal meth use and HIV transmission, for example), your doctor might recommend rehab. You may tire more easily, be more prone to infections, have medical side effects you didn’t have before. But hands down, the biggest change in your daily routine will be taking medication, if you and your doctor decide this is the best treatment option for you. HIV medication requires strict adherence to the prescribed daily dosage, and the drugs often have side effects. Open communication with your doctor will ensure that you are fully equipped to handle the changes in your life.

Let’s start with how it is not transmitted. Since the virus cannot survive outside the body, you cannot get it from toilet seats or shared cups or utensils. You can’t get it from kissing or from spit, since it’s not transmitted in your saliva. It is also not transmitted in sweat or urine. You can’t get it from a swimming pool, hot tub, sauna, mosquito or rodent bites, tattoos, or ear/body piercings. Only four bodily fluids are known to carry HIV in quantities concentrated enough to infect another person: blood, semen, vaginal fluids, and breast milk. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, it is one of these fluids from an HIV-positive person that has to come in contact with a mucous membrane or damaged tissue, or be directly injected into the bloodstream (from a needle or syringe), for HIV transmission to possibly occur.