10 Signs Your Partner May Be Cheating On You
Cheating happens. It's horrible but it happens. It's kinda awkward for the guilty party as well, which is a fact we at SheWired are happy to acknowledge. It's also frequently brushed under the carpet, prolonging the agony. Having been messed around on - and having messed around on someone who clearly didn't really love me, but with whom I was utterly obsessed (oh do not get me started!) - I offer these words which I hope contain wisdom to anyone wondering if they should stay or go. I promise it's better to be alone than with someone who isn't totally with you. On the other hand, don't take one or two of these points as categorical evidence! This is just a guide. Good luck!
1. She's working late - all the time
We all know this is the absolute classic of all classics when it comes to the mechanics of cheating. Work is a chance, for most people, to spend a day away from their partner. Bosses get demanding, overtime gets required - it doesn't matter if your boss isn't the boss asking for it. It's the perfect cover for a quick roll in the hay with someone she shouldn't be rollin' with.
2. She's keeping extra-close guard on her phone
Where previously you'd comfortably show each other your texts and sign in to check emails on each other's devices when you couldn't be bothered to go upstairs, she has now raised Fort Knox around her iPhone. Lesbian Eve has officially stolen that Apple, and you know it.
3. Sex isn't the same
Glassy-eyed distance is never a good look when it comes to getting down to the dirty. On the other end of the spectrum, a sudden desire for quirky new kinks that she never asked for before - or which you have previously categorically refused - could also be a warning sign. There's a chance someone else may be tapping into her sexual psyche...
4. A splash of hypocrisy enters the equation
You accidentally catch the eye of that hot barmaid while you're out? She goes ballistic when previously she would just have laughed. One of the clearest manifestations of hypocritical behavior is projection: "I'm doing something wrong so I will accuse you of the same thing even though it's clear I'm the guilty party here."
5. She suggests seeing other people - as a joke, obviously
"Hey, so I saw how you looked at that hot barmaid..." Meanwhile, you've precisely zero interest in anyone but the woman you love. Which is her. So kinda like, "Please don't say that - and why ARE you saying that?"
6. Rituals change
Always go for a Sunday jog at exactly 8am and always splash out on decadent takeaway at 7.56pm on a Friday? Forget it. Life isn't just about the two of you anymore. Something is rotten in the state of your relationship and it isn't just the out-of-date eggs she used to make your takeaway-replacement Friday evening omelette.
7. She becomes more attentive in platonic ways
When my ex was messing about behind my back, I recall the gifts getting huger and huger. Stupidly enormous. But intimacy was totally off the cards. I was so completely and utterly confused by the juxtaposition. Now, I'm with someone who buys me gifts from eBay for under a dollar or just draws me pictures in crayon... and is like an excited puppy over the simple mention of a big hug from me. I know which I prefer.
8. She sleeps just a little less than she used to
Sad to say, she might be thinking about someone else. And guilting like fuck about the fact that she's gonna have to break it to you sometime. Extra bonus crap points if she can't quite manage to spoon you at night like she used to.
9. Her stories change
She was going on holiday with some friends you've never met, but now she's going on a work trip. It was four days, now it's a week. Key here is, her brain is getting more and more scrambled trying to forge out those lies.
10. She isn't as close to your mom, dad or cat as she used to be
She used to sit up drinking Sailor Jerry's rum with your old man until 4am. Your cat was her baby. She wanted your mom to adopt her. Now, she's as aloof with them as she is with you. This is probably the absolute worst part, in my opinion. You took her into your life and now it's clear as hell she's packing her bags.