13 Things Only Femmes Understand

13 Things Only Femmes Understand

Femme is fabulous. We have an intrinsic glamour and nurturing energy and are natural goddesses. And we always look on point. That being said, sometimes being femme comes with its annoyances. Get ready to deal with everyone assuming you’re straight and sleeping less than the rest of the world due to an elaborate nighttime beauty routine. But it’s totally worth it.

Here are 13 things only femmes understand!

1. Everyone always thinks that your partner is just your friend.

(Special shout out to cishet straight dudes.)

2. Speaking of cishet straight dudes…

If they do realize that you’re queer and out with your partner, they’ll make the most disgusting and lewd jokes. If I hear one more threesome request while trying to have a romantic night out, someone is going to get kicked in the crotch.

3. Life is more expensive as a femme.

Makeup and getting your hair done is expensive! Beauty maintenance should be a tax write off.

4. That being said, femme isn’t rooted in looks.

Femmes are witchy, natural empathetic healers who are fantastic lovers, partners, and friends. We are masters at emotional labor.

5. Speaking of emotional labor, people expect the world from you.

Often such goddess qualities can be taken advantage of. Folks want you to be their partner and mother all rolled into one. We can’t do everything.

6. Sobbing after a horrible date while wearing false eyelashes is something else.

Literally the worst!

7. You basically have to come out every day.

Get used to family, doctors, and sometimes even people you want to date assuming you’re straight because you’re femme.

8. The struggle between wanting to have long sexy talon nails and not wanting to maim your partner’s orifices is real.

9. Can you believe that some people just get in their beds and go to sleep?

The ritual of getting ready for bed, taking off all your makeup, applying night and eye cream, etc. keeps us up for at least an extra half hour each night.

10. Nothing beats the feeling of looking fab AF.

Having hair, nails, and makeup on point is a feeling better than drugs.

11. Femmes have the highest pain tolerance in the world.

Killing it on the dancefloor to Lady Gaga while in stilettos and a thong must be more painful than childbirth, but it’s totally worth it.

12. Femme is not about gender, and femme does not equal feminine.

Anyone of any gender can be a femme. We were born this way.

13. Sorry straight women, but you do not get to call yourself femmes.

Stop it!