The Anniversary of Marriage Equality Makes Me Want More

June 26th, the day the Supreme Court ruled on marriage equality, is a complex day for the queer community. On one hand, we managed to overpower a deeply bigoted infrastructure that fought till the bitter end to deny us our rights. But on the other hand, in the present, the nation has yet to see a movement as powerful and organized as the one for marriage equality for issues that are more relevant to other members of the queer community. I’m not angry, nor am I pretentious enough to muddy the hard work and activism done by folks who won me the right to marry my partner (someday). However, I am critical and inclusive, which inevitably leads me to question where the powers that changed the country last year are now when we need them desperately to fight for the rights of the most marginalized in the larger queer community.

I'm not trying to attack or accuse anyone, because clearly battling the homonormative aspects of our movement and community in a very forward manner has done little in the way of inspiring change. But what I am trying to do is be more thoughtful and compassionate, and trying (desperately) not to assume worst intentions. The reality is that the victory of marriage equality is a BIG DEAL. This is an anniversary worth celebrating, particularly for those who did not live to see the day. And what better way can we celebrate than by getting behind some causes and becoming the movement, once again, which made bigots hide behind weapons of anger and ignorance, in lieu of any genuine heart or logic?

At this point, most of us can’t afford not to speak up, so for those who can — think people with time, money, access, connections, and resources — we need you the most. You can reach places that we can’t and speak up where others are shut out. There are issues (too many, in fact) that need your support. And in some of these issues, lives are literally on the line.

People say it’s 2016 and bad stuff is still happening as if this country has been moving at some consistent progressive pace. That’s irrelevant to me. What matters is that fictional lesbians characters are being, and have been, killed on like every TV show they’re on for a long time now. What matters is that there is government-approved, anti-trans legislation that portrays trans people as perverts and perpetuates life threatening stereotypes while actual perverts slide off the hook (Brock Turner and the gentlemen’s club that has preceded him for decades). What matters is Orlando, and the countless ways the hetero, cis mainstream has co-opted a queer POC tragedy and turned it into fear-mongering rhetoric to stir up the religious right. This kind of stuff isn’t going to go away after a hashtag or two. Change is never that easy.

I originally thought of this as a call for our community to organize again, but this is more of a plea. The anniversary of marriage equality makes me feel lonely and conflicted. I wonder, as you may be, why I don’t do it myself, organizing, I mean. Perhaps I’m making excuses or perhaps I’m a weak person...but I don’t think I can. I have privilege, but not enough. I have bills to pay that require that I spend most of my time working. I don’t have a car, I can’t travel, and my anxiety and depression make it difficult for me to work on the frontlines. My excuses may leave a bad taste in your mouth— they do for me — and maybe they’re nothing more than excuses, but for now they’re my unfortunate truth.

What people don’t always consciously recognize is that organizing and activism require more than heart and passion, particularly when your opponent is the overly funded, corrupt U.S. government. Our battle for marriage equality wasn’t some fly-by-night, shake-and-go wig arrangement. Organizations across the country came together, along with the human power that keeps these organizations running, and they provided the resources for people with less to get involved. That is all I’m asking for. I’m not asking for well-to-do, privileged queer people and their allies to do all the work for us, I’m just asking them to set us up for success in the rough battles to come.

With the way things are going in the United States, we may not have time to reflect on our past victories for too long. There is a new queerphobia emerging in the United States and it lives uniquely to past bigotries. This bigotry exists online and can be spread with little more than a comment. People don’t have to meet up to spread hate anymore. Day by day, people like those who cheer over what happened in Orlando are using all the tools at their disposal to spread their hate. Like a leak in the roof, we’re ultimately going to have to deal with it with more than love and good intent. Otherwise, this hate is going to drown us all.