CONTACTCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
© 2024 Pride Publishing Inc.
All Rights reserved
All Rights reserved
Don’t miss our hottest news! Sign up today for our free newsletter.
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Private Policy and Terms of Use.
When you’re single, it seems like everyone, from your bestie to your boss, is in a relationship. Smug bastards. No, I don’t want to spend five hours in a mall helping you figure out what kind of underwear to get your girlfriend. It makes me want to cry.
But can you really blame anyone but yourself? If you’re still alone, here are the culprits for why you’re still sleeping solo.
1. You’re not looking properly
Do you think that women just fall out of thin air? I realize we’ve all been taught by Sandra Bullock that love will pop up when you’re busy being a strong, independent woman, but this isn’t a romcom. Miss Right isn’t going to drop into your lap.
Sitting back and waiting for it to happen is the one biggest mistake we make. Stop expecting love to magically appear and be proactive.
2. You’re not looking in the right places
Stop being proud. The best way to meet women is online and there’s no denying it. My bestie often enthusiastically slags off (British term that means "is rude about") online dating sites as apparently “only the crazy, desperate ones are on there” but she’s straight. The gay community are in the minority, so seeking each other out isn’t as easy as going to the bar in a push up bra. We’re all online, won’t you come and join us?
3. You’re going too fast
I’m going to make my point here with a personal story.
One day at the gym (the only day I ever went) my personal trainer set a goal to go a certain amount of “fast” (yes, I realize that’s not the technical term) on the treadmill. When left to my own devices, I found it impossible to reach that speed without feeling like I was breathing in hot ash and about to faint, but I still wanted to achieve my goal.
And then, I had an epiphany … why waste all this energy building up speed? Why not just set the treadmill to the appropriate setting and then jump on? What a genius idea, right? So, I set my feet astride the moving-band-thing (another techie term there) and pressed the “up arrow," thoroughly proud of myself for finding an ingenious loophole.
It’s pretty obvious what happened next. The point I’m making is that many of us meet a woman we like and suddenly hit the speedometer. And yes, while gay women are famous for the U-Haul effect, this is a generalization and not necessarily right for you, plus it will probably scare the shit out of her.
Don’t make the mistake of finding yourself with a woman and going full force after three hours. Take time to build up the speed, and you won’t end up jumping on to a quickly moving treadmill, having your feet fling up from under you and face-planting into the dashboard, hearing only that squeaking sound unique to rubber scraping over smug skin.
No, I’m not allowed back in that gym. Yes, I learned my lesson.
4. You’re "straight-centric" (yes, that's a thing)
If, like me, most of your inner circle are straight, you’re a bit stuck … so branch out! Spending all of your time with your straight friends in straight bars is going to dramatically decrease your chances of meeting someone queer. And although I dramatically detest dating someone “on the scene,” it’s a good place to widen your social circle and, thus, your network of eligible women.
5. You’re happy single
Ahah, got you! For those strong single ladies out there who clicked on this article ready to shout at me on Twitter for assuming everyone needs to be coupled-up, you can hold fire. Consider single-dom not as a waiting room to your real life, but as a chance to have your freedom. Sometimes, happiness can be enjoying having your time, all of your closet space and the ability to spend all of your money on yourself/pets.
But if you’re set on finding that special someone, then may the odds be ever in your favor. Happy homo-hunting.
About the Author: E J Rosetta is an LGBT Columnist and coffee addict living in Hampshire with her spoiled cat, Hendricks. More ramblings can be found on Facebook or via Twitter @EJRosetta
Want more breaking equality news & trending entertainment stories?
Check out our NEW 24/7 streaming service: the Advocate Channel!
Download the Advocate Channel App for your mobile phone and your favorite streaming device!
From our Sponsors
Most Popular
47 Celebrities With OnlyFans Accounts to Thirst Over
April 16 2024 6:02 AM
25 All-Time Greatest Lesbian Sex Scenes in Movies & Where To Stream Them
December 12 2023 11:36 AM
87 LGBTQ+ Movies We Can’t Wait To See In 2023
December 07 2023 4:19 PM
28 same-sex couples who don't mind the age gap
January 16 2024 2:15 PM
25 Reasons Being A Bottom Is Tougher Than Being A Top
December 12 2023 3:15 PM
These 44 Stars Came Out In 2023
December 26 2023 10:16 AM
30 steamy gay scenes in movies that have us feeling VERY h-word
January 26 2024 12:12 PM
30 TV Shows With Bisexual Guy Characters & Where To Watch Them
December 19 2023 10:38 AM
All 20 Sex Scenes on 'Bridgerton', Ranked
December 12 2023 12:32 PM
30 Best 'Trades Of The Season' In The 'RuPaul's Drag Race' Franchise
December 21 2023 5:11 PM
Don’t miss our hottest news! Sign up today for our free newsletter.
Latest Stories
Luxury and sensuality await in The Pride Store's Taurus gift guide!
April 20 2024 9:00 AM
You're a winner baby! This queen won 'Drag Race' season 16
April 19 2024 9:46 PM
Man sets himself on fire outside Trump's hush-money trial on day two of jury selection
April 19 2024 6:23 PM
Why is bisexuality still being erased in today's society?
April 19 2024 5:24 PM
Melissa Barrera wants to star in 'Scary Movie 6,' and 'Scream' fans are READY for it
April 19 2024 4:38 PM
PRIDE NEWSLETTER - 4/19
April 19 2024 4:23 PM
Libs of TikTok is losing it over ABSURD rumors of furries in a middle school
April 19 2024 4:20 PM
New Beyoncé doc delves into Black voices in country music
April 19 2024 2:52 PM
8 queer films we’re DYING to see at Salem Horror Fest 2024
April 19 2024 2:50 PM
Fetterman slams school’s ban on gay actor’s bullying talk
April 19 2024 2:39 PM
Republican Ted Cruz whines like a baby as his reelection hopes sink while we CACKLE
April 19 2024 2:21 PM
Get pumped for the intense queer cheer competition in 'Backspot' trailer!
April 19 2024 2:10 PM
The Tip Off: A beginner's guide to the WNBA
April 19 2024 1:22 PM
Kelly Clarkson shares struggles of pregnancies amid Arizona's abortion ban
April 19 2024 12:39 PM
Watch: In this 'Dead Boy Detectives' clip Edwin & Charles' tension is haunting (EXCLUSIVE)
April 19 2024 12:00 PM
Sue Bird & Megan Rapinoe are producing queer soccer romance for TV & we're SEATED
April 19 2024 10:10 AM
Trending Stories
Recommended Stories for You
Most Recent
Ej Rosetta
EJ is a gin enthusiast, cat lover and perpetually single coffee addict, who happens to have a super cool accent.
EJ is a gin enthusiast, cat lover and perpetually single coffee addict, who happens to have a super cool accent.