comes out

'Why doesn’t she just come out of the closet? I mean everybody already knows that she’s gay. Right, I mean give me a break!' My very straight friend, with her very hetero privilege...'Wanda Sykes came out didn't she?'

Coming out is not a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Some people like Ellen DeGeneres get a national magazine's cover to declare her gayness. But most people have to settle with private conversations or showing up to social gatherings with significant others of the same sex. And then of course they get to come out over and over again whenever they meet someone or run into an old friend who didn't get their well-circulated ‘I'm-gay’ memo. There's a tiny box, probably at the very bottom of your profile that asks a seemingly simple question. “Interested In.” When I first encountered the box I was just barely a freshman in college setting up my Facebook account.  I noticed the box and quickly checked “men,” just another one of those little lies you tell almost daily when you're in the closet.

The Off-Broadway comedy Five Lesbians Eating A Quiche wants you to have a delicious National Coming Out Day.

UC Santa Barbara student and excavator of lesbian culture puts her own Carrie Bradshaw-esque spin on growing up gay. This week she investigates the ways in which young queers come out.

As I've said before, coming out is not easy. It is often times painful and never ending. Once you come out to close friends and family, there's still the office and anyone you happen to stumble upon for the rest of your life. Some may have it easier than others because they are the few, the proud, the 100-footers; but others aren't so easily recognized. That is why I have written this open letter tailored to the needs of makeup-wearing, stiletto-rocking women who just happen to like other women. I print this letter on the back of my my head shot so that it can be passed around to strangers and any potential “Real L Word” casting directors.

A look back at P-Town from childhood to the coming out years to vacationing with the kids.