10 Things Trans Guys Are Tired of Hearing

It's time for these comments towards trans men to stop!

1. "I only date women and trans men."

First of all, what do you mean by women? I really hope you mean trans women too. Are you saying you only date people with a certain kind of genitalia? I mean, that's fine, but you shoud be upfront with everyone about why you're dating them if that's true. Trans folks are marginalized enough. I'm not less of a man or a different kind of a man. If you date me, then you date women and men. Period. 

2. "Your girlfriend must be gay..." or "Your boyfriend must be secretly straight, right?"

Nope. Straight women date trans men and gay men can date trans men. 

3. "I'm attracted to you! Ah! Am I gay or straight!?"

Well, bisexuality is also an option. Frankly, that's really not my question to answer, but I am a man. However that impacts your identity, that's all you.

4. "You can't change your chromosomes! You'll always be a woman."

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change (like the fact that people are severely uneducated about the gender binary) and the courage to change the things I can. *walks away from conversation*

Seriously though, DNA is not gender. Sex is not gender. Also, some people assigned female at birth are born with male chromosomes and intersex people exist.  

5. "Oh! Trans!? So, you want to be a woman!?"

Currently, trans men aren't as publicly recognized in the mainstream media as trans women. We also have passing privilege. Due to this, we are pretty invisible. When I tell people that I was assigned female at birth they are shocked and then say something like... (See #6)

6. "I would've never guessed that you weren't a man!"

I am a man. We just went over that. 

7. "You are a man to me!"

Good, because I am one. 

8. "Do you have a vagina?"

When has this question ever been acceptable? You don't ask cis people about their genitalia, so stop asking trans people about theirs.

9. "I think ALL trans men are hot."

Have you met all trans men? You sound a bit fetish-y. Trans men are lots of things, and we should recognize that they are more than just attractive.

10. "How do you like to have sex?"

I'm sorry. Do I know you?? Are we on a date?? Are we in your bed?? No? Then, it's none of your business!