The holiday season can be taxing on LGBTQ people for a host of reasons. Estranged family members gather while we might remain alone; we might be able join those gatherings on the condition that we hide certain facets of our identities; or we might struggle with mental health issues, which we're three times more likely to encounter than heterosexuals, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
One of the best ways to process is to share stories—stories of success, failure, change, and stagnation—to help those living with mental illnesses know they aren't fighting alone. And Colton Haynes wants to do just that.
In a guest column for the "Outspoken" issue of Paper Magazine, Colton shared two diary entries written two years apart. The first, dated in 2014, describes a grim reality that many closeted individuals experience: fear of the outside world, fear of other people, social and physical isolation, and intense self-deprecating thoughts.
"I'm a vampire. A shell. Wishing I was the old Colton," he writes.
The last, dated in 2016, tells a story of triumph after Colton had become more truthful about himself with the world, including his sexual identity, in which Colton describes himself as "finally free."
Read the column here, and read The Trevor Project's "Self Care During the Holiday Season" guide here.
LGBT youth (ages 24 and younger) who are considering suicide can reach the Trevor Project Lifeline at (866) 488-7386. If you are a trans or gender-nonconforming person considering suicide, Trans Lifeline can be reached at (877) 565-8860. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255 can also be reached 24 hours a day by people of all ages and identities.
