WYP POSTPONED UNTIL WEDNESDAY NIGHT, SAME TIME! Due to Livestream technical difficulties, we will be postponing until Wednesday. Sorry for the inconvenience. See you all for the show!

Watch Cathy DeBuono bring you her vlog What's Your Problem live on SheWired Tuesday night at 7:30 PST. Streaming live, Cathy will address two letters.

Letter 1:

Hi Cathy,

First I have to say that I love WYP and TGAO and watch everytime. Its my escape from reality :)

I have a complicated problem that I don't understand myself, so I was hoping you could help me feel better. I am a 19 year old girl from Norway, but I'm now studying in England. I have a problem with intimicy, shyness, self-worth, self-esteem and everything similar to those I guess, but only when I'm with girls (and yes, I'm a lesbian). I don't think I can handle this anymore, and I have found a "good" way to distract me from the pain, cutting my arm, but not very deep, only on the surface. And I know its not ok, but to me, its better than to feel like I do inside. I have had a few "girfriends", but the same thing happens everytime!

They like me, and flirts and we go on for a few weeks, and then, when they get to know me, they don't like me anymore. This just happend a few days ago again, and I feel so worthless. I mean, I'm clearly not good enough for girls (and I knew that, but everytime I hope  it will be different), and I will never be, because my personality is something I can't really change. They say it's because I'm too shy and not so outgoing, and that that is part of why they dump me. I know its because I don't look so good also. And probably because I get "afraid" and very nervous everytime they get close to me, or touch me or even look at me. I have a hard time keeping eyecontact also.

I did try to have sex with one girl when I was 16, but that was terrifying and I felt horrible after. And everywhere I read, in books and on the internet it says its because of a trama I'v had in the past or something to do with my parents or something like that, but its not. I have no exuse for being this way, and I don't know how to fix it.

What can I do to get over my shyness? and how can I stop being so nervous all the time when I'm arround girls. This is destroying my life, and I feel .. I don't know, meaningless, worthless and I just want to fade away, be with my animals, and just move far away where I never need to talk to a person ever again.. Then I'll be safe.

I can't go to a therapist, becuase I'm in England, and I don't think I would speak the language good enough for the therapist to understand. and I'm way to shy to go to a support group or anything with people.
Thank you very much for reading this letter.
- Annica (and yes, you can call me that if you descide to have me on WYP)   :)

Letter 2:

Hi Cathy,

I'm a 27 year old Veteran of the Iraq war. I've been back for 2 years, and was recently almost recalled in the reserves. I served as an Army Combat Medic, so to no surprise I saw some pretty horrifying things. Being home, I had come out.

I have been surfering from PTSD and did not get anyhelp due to I guess pride, until recently, you know instead of being a rational person, I decided to drink the memories and flashbacks away. Go figure it didn't work. My problem actually has nothing to do with the Army. I had a long term girlfriend who recently left because she decided she couldnt watch me go back to war, and or she just didnt love me anymore.

I decided to out myself to the Armed Forces, for her to save our relationship,  and was subsequently dropped from the reserves. Which is fine, i just have guilt issues about doing it that way. I have been tackling some major issues on my own for so long, its getting a bit hard.   I have a great group of friends all very cool with the fact im gay, gotta love Nor Cal for that at least.

The problem I'm having is I need some support. I've been very attentive to issues they have in their little straight world, and make huge efforts to understand their work problems even though I'm not an engineer like the rest of them, I'm a firefighter and a hazmat member. After the Ft Hood shootings, I have stopped seeing the army counselor for therapy, frankly because now I don't have faith in them to not go ape shit and kill everyone. So I've been tackling a breakup, PTSD, and recovery while being strong for everyone else. My friends have not reciprecated the same support I offer them, honestly I fear they only like me when I'm funny or can listen to them. I've tried reaching out to them for help, which admittedly is out of my comfort zone, but I don't ever get a responce.  

What I'm really asking, and feeling kind of silly about, is do you or Jill have any suggestions? I'm afraid im going to lose the "friends" I have, and then really be alone in this. I'm just scared, and that is so hard for a soldier and firefighter to say. None the less, even if you never read this, I'm glad you are helping others, I think you are a remarkable person. If you do get this, thanks.  
L

Video and chat on next page...

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