This weeks' episode blew last week's right out of the water. First off, Sue opens her child-like notebook to express herself [pun intended] and her feelings about the one and only Madonna. She decides to tell the principal that her greatest hits should be played throughout the intercom all day so that kids will be reminded of the power that is Madonna. After reminding him of the concept of blackmail and the photographs she has of them in bed together he reluctantly agrees. This could be one of the funniest parts of the episode, in that there is a constant stream of Madonna playing in the background for an entire hour.
WWMD - date a younger man "let's see some arm candy"
After being pressured by her new beau, Jesse St. James, Rachel asks the Glee girls for advice on how to say "no" to a guy who wants to have sex. Mr. Shue interrupts and says that maybe they should talk to Emma, but that is clearly an awkward dead end. After conferring with each other, Emma and Will decide that together, they'll help the girls boost their self-esteem and with a little help from the wise words of Madge, take control of themselves and their bodies. Meanwhile, Mr. Shue's concern for the girls appears like a thinly veiled attempt to get Emma to feel comfortable with her body.
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Perhaps one of the coolest numbers is Sue's Cheerios dancing to "Ray Of Light" - a song I forgot entirely about but was thankfully reminded how great it is when the team dances, flips and walks around on stilts. Although it's impressive and wildly entertaining, Sue is obviously disappointed when she screams into her megaphone "somewhere off the coast of England in a stately manor, Madonna is weeping!"
Will takes a note from Sue, who says that she wants her Cheerios to take all the lessons that Madonna has to offer. He explains that Madonna's musical message "is about equality" and therefore each has to pick a song to perform. Rachel and the girls launch into "Express Yourself," complete with black business suits, headset microphones, and gelled wavy up-dos. Empowered indeed!
Sue advises the Cheerios to make like Madonna and "date a younger man," which leads to Brittany and Santana talkin' cradle robbing. Brittany mentions her new boy is seven, and plays with her sister. AWKWARD to say the least. She then pushes Santana to date Finn, as he is three days younger, and advises her to take his virginity, "because that's the only way to get a man to follow you forever." After all "Madonna wrote a song about it."
Emma says she's sad to hear that Sue instructed her intercom be disconnected because she doesn't deserve the power of Madonna. Sue happily explains to her that she issues about as much sexuality "as those pandas who refuse to mate down at the zoo." It seems like Sue has an inside line to Emma's relationship with Mr. Shue. Maybe that's a two-way intercom in Emma's office.
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Finn and Rachel rehearse, and he promises to keep her secret of dating Jesse St. James from Vocal Adrenaline, but only if it goes smoothly and it doesn't ruin Glee's chances at Nationals (or is it regionals? Or sectionals? I'm losing track). They rehearse to "Open Your Heart" ... and the only thing I found enjoyable about it was the students walking around the school behind them dressed in the history of Madonna outfits. A little boring for my taste. I think the point was that we're supposed to see that they still have chemistry, but I'm sort of over it them.
In one of the funniest showdowns ever, Sue approaches Will in the hallway to express her hatred of him, and tell him that Madonna is "her thing" and that he shouldn't have the Glee kids singing her songs. After making another brilliantly rude comment about his hair, he loses all control by responding: "Hey Sue, HOWS THE FLORENCE HENDERSON LOOK WORKING OUT FOR YOU?!" Visibly shocked and shaken, Sue stares at him for about 20 seconds, then proceeds to storm down the hallway, ripping books out of kids hands and shoving them against lockers. Brilliant.
Kurt and Mercedes play witness to this altercation and decide to step in. They approach Sue in her office, and tell her they want to help. Sue explains that really, she is just jealous of Will's "lustrous wavy hair" because of her own ongoing hair complex. Kurt and Mercedes take matters into their own hands.
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Rachel and Jesse St. James meet scarily by the Steven Sondheim section of the music library (so gay in the best way), and he apologizes to her about being forceful with her sexuality. After all of his apologizing she says she's ready. At the same time, Emma catches up to Will telling him she needs to take control of her body and herself just like Madonna, and that she wants to "do the nasty" that night at 7:30. Charming.
Just down the hall, Santana and Finn decide to go through with the deed as well. What song would be PERFECT for this montage? Fine, I'll tell you: "Like A Virgin". Although a bit predictable, it is very enjoyable, and in the end, it turns out that the female parties involved went through with it. But Finn's a boy after all, and while he later tells Rachel he didn't' have sex, his post-coital look tells us otherwise.
Vogue take 1: This is Kurt's and Mercedes' multi-media video, which most of us saw last week at the end of the previous episode, but it's just as fabulous. I think my favorite part is Sue doing the running man in a black suit with white pinstripes. Sue puts her own spin on it by singing "Sue Sylvester, dance on air" as well as "Will Schuster, I hate you" Even after Sues "Vogue" shoot however she arrives back at school sporting her sweat suit and Florence Henderson hair. She realizes she doesn't need to reinvent herself and that she's a true original -- just like Madonna.
Next up, Glee club is shocked to hear that Jesse St. James is transferring to their school?!? He explains that he left Vocal Adrenaline, moved into the school district, and is now transferring to the new glee club. Seems a little suspicious to all, myself included, but I hope that it makes for some good musical numbers in the future.
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In a treacherous turn Sue transforms Mercedes and Kurt into Cheerios superstars, performing Madonna's and Justin Timberlake's "4 Minutes" during the fantastic halftime show. Those that "make culture," Kurt and Mercedes, explain to a very confused Will that they've decided to join Cheerios to "give them more opportunities to shine" since he didn't give them the heads up about new all-star Jesse St. James joining.
Toward the end, the boys perform "What it Feels Like For A Girl." Although I'm not familiar with the song, the concept of all the Glee boys singing it, including Kurt, is great. This leads all of them to apologize to the girls they've objectified, bringing the whole episode full circle.
Finally, the number I'd been waiting for came upon me: LIKE A PRAYER. This is the song I've been waiting to hear this whole episode, and needless to say, it lived up to my expectations. The Glee kids are clad in red and black, and although I don't care for this Jesse St. James kid, he blew me away. The choir was the perfect finishing touch. All in all, I'd give this episode an A.
Best Sue line: As Madonna once said, I'm tough, I'm ambitious and if that makes me a bitch, that's what I am. Pretty sure she stole that line from Sue Sylvester. No, really. I said it first. The Palladium, '87.
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