Leave Shiloh Alone

I don’t know if you are aware but a crime against humanity is being committed.

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, spawn of Brangelina, has been dressing in a less-than-appropriately-feminine manner than tabloid editors and their audiences deem appropriate for a 3 1/2 year old girl. I know, it’s horrible. I’m sorry I had to tell you about it. It’s so painful I beg you, turn your eyes away from the picture below lest you are compelled to pluck them from your head.

Yeah, Life & Style thought this was so important they put it on the cover.

But to their credit they weren’t the ones to break the story. Bonnie Fuller had a conniption about it back in January.

Life & Style quotes a bunch of celebrity stylists (aka Fucking Idiots) one of whom says Shiloh is “pushing the boundaries of a tomboy look and crossing over to cross-dresser territory.” That’s coming from a senior stylist at VH1. American Psychiatric Association take note: please consult this gender expert before publishing the DSM-5. Seriously the least offensive quote in the whole piece comes from a guy at Focus on the Family. Enough said.

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Kids wear what they want to wear. They are kids. How can you call a three-year-old a cross-dresser because she wears jeans? When my ex was a little kid he used to wear a straight up Luke Skywalker costume everywhere.

Bonnie Fuller, on the other hand, quotes an actual shrink, Dr. David Eigen, who claims that Shiloh’s futchy outfits are a symptom of Angelina’s bisexuality, “Angelina has said she was bisexual in public—this is her bisexuality coming through. She’s saying “I’m not going to teach my daughter gender—let her pick.” OK that’s not egregiously offensive, but wait, he goes on, “She is being guided into a bisexual role. Her mother is projecting this onto this particular child—she has chosen her as her favorite. I think this is an issue.” So it’s not that Shiloh is a cross-dresser it’s that her mom is making her bi.

Bonnie Fuller herself also has a thing or two to say about appropriate gender expression for children. Some of my favorites are, “Even the stuffed animal she carries is blue.” And, “Brad, does Shiloh even know what the color pink is? Has she even seen it?” Luckily though, Fuller thinks little Zahara is doing just fine, “Her sister Zahara Jolie-Pitt, however, is allowed to have her girly touches. HER Mary Poppins' hair was pulled into a purple barrette and a pretty bracelets escaped from under the arm of her coat."

About a year and a half ago Brad Pitt told Oprah that Shiloh would only answer to John, which is totally cute. Pitt said she was having a “Peter Pan phase.” This fact also freaked Fuller out, and she seems to believe that Shiloh has already become attached to one too many blue stuffed animals and the damage is done.

My girlfriend says she went through a phase around three years old where she wanted to be called Luke. So maybe it is a sign she’s gonna grow up to be a little butch lesbian, who knows? Who cares? I think it’s creepy to think about a kid’s gender and sexuality. Children evolve and figure that stuff out as they develop an individual identity separate from their parents. Anyway I’m about as femme as it gets and I went through a phase where I wanted to be called Dani. Except, I was 22 and thought it was chic. I’m really glad it didn’t stick because that would be seriously dorky. 

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