Sarah McLachlan's female-infused and inspired Lilith Fair 2010 is touring throughout the United States and Canada this summer and SheWired is going to have the scoop on all things "Lilith." Women everywhere are purchasing their tickets, scheduling their campsites and pulling out their Sheryl Crow, Ke$ha, Kelly Clarkson, Brandi Carlile and Indigo Girls t-shirts in anticipation for the epic event. Let's face it - We all go for the music, but there's more to Lilith Fair than the music. There are new friends, hot women and....their girlfriends... We know that men also attend, but lets' face it, it's all about the estrogen frenzy for us.
The following list was compiled upon merely the thought and conception of female energy rocking Lilith Fair 2010 and what that might translate into for lesbians everywhere.
1. Kelly Clarkson Comes Out of the Closet
Seriously, did you think this wouldn't make the list? Kelly Clarkson has a huge gay and lesbian following. What better place to come out of the closet than at Lilith Fair? Highly unlikely - as she has repeatedly stated she's straight -- but at Lilith, anything is possible.
2. Sheryl Crow and Colbie Caillat Duet
Individually, they are fabulous. Together, they would be out of this world! They could call their duet, "All I Wanna Do (is have some) Bubbly".
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3. Brandi Carlile Learns a Few Moves from Donna De Lory
You can't work with Madonna and not learn a thing or two about stripping (I mean, dancing). Donna De Lory could definitely teach little Brandi Carlile a thing or two about shaking her groove thing and being proud of what her mama gave her!
4. Ke$ha Brings Along Some Jack to Share
She wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy and will have everyone in the crowd feeling the same way when she brings along some Jack Daniels to share with the crowd. What was that? Your shirt got wet? Crap! Looks like Ke$ha will also be imposing a wet t-shirt contest before her set is over. We know you're disappointed..
5. Rihanna Hosts "Relationship Advice with Rihanna"
There isn't enough therapy in the world for the crap heaped on lesbians. Who better to get advice from than pop star Rihanna? She can also teach us how to dress in non-jean and t-shirt outfits for at no extra charge.
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6. The Indigo Girls Teach Femmes How to Start a Campfire
Amy and Emily take the show on the road and travel back to one lucky winner's campsite where they show 10 of their frantic femme friends the correct way to start a campfire. The femmes then screech and faint, which causes Amy and Emily to do a much-needed mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
7. Sarah McLachlan Holds Pet Adoption Fair
Lesbians and their friends love pets. They also love Sarah McLachlan. They wish Sarah would be their pet. Wait, that is another topic entirely.
8. The Butches for Bareilles Group Forms
Butches love Sara Bareilles. By participating in this brand-new group, each and every butch chosen to participate will be able to help hold the stage door open for Ms. Sara Bareilles after her set. One will get to wear her nylons later.
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9. Sugarland Brings Along Something Sweet
Can you see the headlines? "Sugarland Takes Over Lilith Fair 2010 with Sweets." Butches, femmes and everyone in between would be happy, full of sugar and would have totally forgotten that there wasn't a Home Depot within 50 miles of the fairground.
10. Mary J. Blige Whips the Crowd into Shape
Mary J. Blige would have to perform after Sugarland because everyone would need to start moving after all of the sweets! By the way, Mary J. does not want to hear any drama. Now, get into formation! We know you like it.
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