10 Things I'd Have a Sugar Daddy Buy Me (If I Had One)

At some point, almost every young twenty-something has dreamt about what it would be like to have someone rich pay for anything and everything they wanted/needed (don't lie). It's even more glamorous to think that you wouldn't have to do much more than smile, be yourself, and spend some time to get these things you desire and require. After all, what sounds better than finding someone rich, with too much time on their hands, to take away all the troubles in life that can be fixed with money?! 

Of course, in the real world, Lord knows that sugar daddy/sugar baby relationships aren't that simple, and some of these arrangements can be anything from entirely emotional, to overwhelmingly sexual (different strokes for different folks). They're an innocent enough thing to want and is totally guilt-free as long as you recognize that a sugar daddy/mama is a person too. They're not an object or an ATM with legs. It's should be 50/50, or it shouldn't be anything at all.

That being said, here are 10 things I'd have a sugar daddy buy me IFI had one. (Please note that this is a total joke and is not meant to be taken seriously — unless, of course, you're a rich man looking for someone to pamper!!)

1. Freedom from financial debt

With the incessant and rising costs of higher education, and the current debt crisis that is plaguing many college grads, I would absolutely love someone forever if they could take care of my college student loans. Seriously. Accepting sugar daddy applications ASAP.

2. An apartment

Because I need somewhere to live, and because finding a decently-sized and affordable place in a major city is literally one huge struggle. Preferably it would be a high-rise, decently-sized apartment in New York, but I'm also happy to stay in my hometown of Philadelphia.

3. An Xbox One or Playstation 4

I'm not too choosy. Either would do!

4. Laser hair removal

Finally, I'd NEVER have to shave. My life would finally be what I always dreamed it would be and I'd never have to pick up an annoying razor ever again.

5. A space for all of my animals

I'd love to have lots of animals (like Paris Hilton) but also have the means to care for them and give them love. I wouldn't need these bought for me — because I adopt and don't buy from stores or breeders — but I would need food and toys and all the things animals need to have a happy and healthy life.

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6. A really fancy camera

I want one of those cameras that captures your skin cells with perfect detail, every shot. One of those would be great.

7. A phone with a real data plan

I'm still living the prepaid life and it's really not fun.

8. A writing studio

Only in a dream world could I ever have a space meant solely for writing and creating. Maybe then I'd finally finish up my novel and take my blog over the top.

9. A spa day

Everyone needs a day of simple R&R, especially anxious, stressed-out millennials. I want the works, minus the mud bath. That I could most definitely do without. I don't care how helpful it might be.

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10. A Presidential election campaign

At this point, the only credentials for being a legitimate Presidential candidate is saying whatever you want without thinking and having a lot of money to sway people (and media outlets) your way. With the way things are, and with proper funding, I might have a real chance.

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So, uh, are there any sugar daddies out there??