These are the gayest and queerest Thanksgiving foods!
These are the gayest thanksgiving foods
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It's Thanksgiving, and that means it's time for queer chosen families to gather around a table and celebrate with a delicious meal. But how can you guarantee that your Thanksgiving dinner is as gay as it can be?
Not all foods are created equal. Some are more gay than others. In the proud honor of ranking random things by gayness, we present to you this list.
From turkey to green beans, to sweet potato pie, these are the 13 gayest Thanksgiving foods, ranked.
13. Mac and Cheese - dry
Macaroni and Cheese
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Nothing ruins a delicious holiday meal like some dry and unseasoned mac and cheese. Like a straight man hitting on girls at a gay bar, this does not belong at the table!
12. Mashed Potatoes
Mashed potatoes
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So often, mashed potatoes end up among the blandest dishes on the Thanksgiving plate. Like a straight person on Queer Eye, it needs a makeover with some gravy, cranberry sauce, or turkey to really shine.
11. Green Beans
Green beans
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While a green bean casserole is a little genderqueer, plain green beans are as cis and het as an episode of Friends.
10. Yams
Candied yams
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Yams getting topped by some nice fluffy gay marshmallows on top? That sounds like a night out at The Abbey to me!
9. Turkey
Turkey
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The gay community is famous for its bears, otters, cubs, and pups, so why not welcome in the turkey to the ranks of gay types? If bears are big and hairy, we propose turkeys are large gay hairless men who love to gobble.
8. Gravy
Gravy
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Like a gender bending shapeshifter, gravy isn't just one thing; it's fluid, baby! Pour a little out and watch your whole plate transform.
7. Pumpkin Pie
Pumpkin pie
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Like the nice, femme lesbian who holds your hair back when you're puking in the club, pumpkin pie is as sweet as it comes! She's a real girls' girl!
6. Mac and Cheese - good
Macaroni and cheese
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We all know what a good, wet mac and cheese sounds like! If you make it right, lesbians can eat this dish all night long!
5. Succotash
A dish of succotash
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This corn and bean dish is taken to a whole other level when you add in squash, making it the perfect threesome for your Thanksgiving meal!
4. Buns
Dinner rolls, or buns
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There are few things a gay man loves more than a nice, firm, delicious bun! Spread 'em out on the table and watch your gay friends go to town!
3. Cranberry Sauce
A bowl of cranberry sauce
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Like the lone gay cousin at a family reunion, cranberry sauce is tart, colorful, and saucy as hell.
2. Sweet Potato Pie
Sweet potato pie
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Not as popular as his lesbian cousin, the pumpkin pie – but secretly a lot better – sweet potato pies are the true MVP of any gay Thanksgiving. Classy, unique, and satisfying, he's the king of the table.
1. Stuffing
Stuffing
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Stuffing is both a classic gay dish and a classic gay behavior! You know a night is successful when you both end up stuffed!
