SheWired Talks Boobs: Mother and Daughter

To honor our family, friends, loved ones, girlfriends, partners and in some cases, ourselves, we at SheWired are telling our stories about brushes with breast cancer, a disease that has affected nearly all of in some way.

Stephanie Schroeder, our political pundit with a distinctly feminist edge, shares her story.

My mother and I have never been close. She doesn't at all object to me being queer. Rather it's my itinerant writer's lifestyle she not exactly objects to, but fears for my physical and mental health and financial well-being.

So, when she I received an email that said she was having a biopsy for a lump in her breast, I went rigid. It wasn't so much that my mother might have cancer, but that I would have to face her, as well as my own, mortality. When the biopsy came back positive and my mom had to schedule surgery, a lumpectomy-thank goodness the cancer was caught very early-I pleaded with her to come to New York, go to Sloan or Columbia, anywhere besides Aurora Healthcare in Kenosha, Wisconsin. But, she told me she felt good about her doctors, that her surgeon had done hundreds of these procedure, etc.

Ever the New York snob, I pleaded with her to come and stay with me (although it scared the shit out of me to be in close proximity to cancer or in close quarters with my mother for an unspecified period of time). She opted for surgery and follow up in Wisconsin had a successful operation as well as follow up radiation-she didn't need chemo.

I went to visit my biological family on Thanksgiving, about four years ago, during my mom's radiation treatments. I hadn't been to Wisconsin for several years. But it was good to see that my mother was alright and in good hands medically-speaking and also that my father-and big worry wart-was taking care of her and, seemingly, taking it in stride.

Then came my lump. I had felt it in the shower days before a planned trip to Amsterdam. I ignored it and went on my trip making an appointment for a mammogram and ultrasound when I returned. Diagnosis: fatty lump. Really, that was the official result from the top diagnostic breast guy in New York City. My gynecologist followed it, my lump and, in addition to making sure I had yearly mammograms and ultrasounds, sent me to a breast specialist. He did a biopsy and it came back with some suspicious findings: interductal papilloma. Basically I had blocked ducts, tiny polyps blocking them. So I scheduled surgery ASAP. I had the lump removed in June and the biopsy on the tissue proved benign.

This week I am taking a woman my age, a very close friend, to that same breast surgeon for her own lump removal. She has something similar though not the same as I did. I will take her to and from surgery and then have her stay at my place for the weekend and care for her as my (girl)friend did for me. I figure it's all about paying it forward when it comes to helping sisters our around well, anything, but especially breast health.