Sports for Girls: A Lesbian's Look at the NFL Play-offs

For most fans of the NFL, the system of who gets into the playoffs and who doesn't is about as frustrating as the BCS standings and college bowl games. Even with a seemingly clean-cut system, a lot can go wrong. At the end of this football season, a team with a win percentage of only 50 percent will make it into the playoffs, while many teams with records far better will be left in the dust, or in this case, the snowstorm.

Week 16's games were held in great scenery. The Cardiac Cards played their first snow games in 25 years! I'm going to use that as an excuse for why they had their rear-ends handed to them on a silver platter. Despite the amazing scenery, and snowball fighting fans, a distinct downfall to snow games is the cheerleader's uniforms. They've gone from skimpy, revealing, jaw-dropping outfits to cover-every-piece-of-skin-sweats. You can't truly complain, though. Dancing around in freezing temperatures for less than $50 a game is tough work.

Fans could be seen throwing snowballs at each other, and at players, during Week 16. Shaun Ellis of the New York Jets was fined $10,000 for joining in the snowball throwing. He tossed a few into the crowd after the Jets loss to Seattle, telling reporters that it was "all in good fun," a celebration of winter. Apparently the NFL disagreed.

 This Christmas, be thankful that you are not a New York Jet, training through every day of the holiday in order to win a crucial game on Sunday. No present under the tree, no stocking stuffer, no holiday dinner will take their minds off of Sunday. The Broncos, Chargers, Vikings, and Bear's will all be highly distracted while playing Santa Claus for their children and piecing together bikes and swing sets. 

The battle in the AFC East is becoming a bit clearer. The Jets will need a miracle to make the playoffs. Bear with me here, I'm going to attempt to explain how their Christmas miracle might come true. If the Patriots lose (Patriots vs Bills), or the Ravens lose (Ravens vs Jaguars), the Jets must beat Miami. The rub is that Favre's team has won more games than the Cards, who have already sealed a playoff berth.

 The AFC West will be decided in one game, simple and absolute. Denver (8-7) will take on San Diego (7-8). The winner of this game will move on. Get your eggnog and Christmas cookies ready for this one. San Diego has come up from the low ranks, gaining steam with every win. Last week, the Chargers demolished Tampa Bay, a team with a better win percentage than Denver. The last time these two teams met, a blown call gave the game to the Broncos. The refs call echoed through the helmets of every Charger's player, which only adds fuel to their growing fire. I can't wait for this game.

The NFC North will also be decided on Sunday. This is the most confusing of all. The Vikings and Bears are tied at 9-6.  If Chicago beats Houston (7-8), and Minnesota loses, Chicago takes the division. If Chicago loses, and Minnesota loses, the Vikings clinch the division.

In the NFC South, the Panthers and Falcons have clinched playoff spots. Tampa Bay will be fighting for position on Sunday. Tampa Bay (9-6) can take the last wild card spot with a win over Oakland at home, plus a Dallas loss to Philadelphia.

Are you keeping up? Week 17 is a stressful time in the life of an NFL player. Every game is dependent on another, and no outcome is definite until the end of the day, when all games have been played.

Missed the last Sports for Girls? Read it here.