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A Little Something Extra- Beyond the Down and Dirty

A Little Something Extra- Beyond the Down and Dirty

I’m sure you’ve all noticed I tend to write about the nitty gritty details of sex, but with sex should often come some element of romance. That’s why I want to share with you a few sweet romantic gestures that will likely… Well, get you laid. Also note: if you aren’t as crude and pleasure-driven as I am, these five simple gestures can also help to win a women’s heart, not just her crotch. Repetition of these things can be of great benefit when developing a long term relationship.

I’m sure you’ve all noticed I tend to write about the nitty gritty details of sex, but with sex should often come some element of romance. That’s why I want to share with you a few sweet romantic gestures that will likely… Well, get you laid. Also note: if you aren’t as crude and pleasure-driven as I am, these five simple gestures can also help to win a women’s heart, not just her crotch. Repetition of these things can be of great benefit when developing a long term relationship.

Let’s begin.

1. Cook

Yes, you already knew that one, but it’s important. And it works. Also, focus on the dish, tuna casserole doesn’t exactly scream “take me now,” plus if you play your cards right you’ll be having it for desert anyway. Try something with rich flavor and good texture, but also relatively light. You can’t get any if you’re in a food coma. I recommend light salad for starters and an aphrodisiac for main and desert courses. Some edible  aphrodisiacs known to work on women include pumpkin pie, carrots, almonds, oysters and hot peppers. While you’re doing this remember your manners, don’t scarf anything down, don’t chew with your mouth open…. You know the rules. Breaking some of the most basic manner rules can turn your woman off in an instant, and no amount of pumpkin pie can redeem you.

2. Touch

No, I don’t mean grope her. I mean put your hand on her thigh, brush the hair from her face, stroke her arm, etc. I find these very simple gestures are super effective if you look her in the eyes as you do it. It’s sexy, intimate and can be done publicly. Stay away from things like getting too close to her lady bits, as that comes later. For now you want to keep it sweet and tasteful. If it becomes more intimate try using your finger tips or the back of  your hand. The whole body can be an erogenous zone if it’s touched right. Gauge her reaction to figure out what she likes best, or ask her if you are unsure. Try rubbing her shoulders and arms unsolicited. If you’re in the privacy of a home (or other area you consider private), ask her to remover her  shirt (if you’re into the adorably cheesy thing) or use your imagination and get creative. Avoid saying “my turn” when you are finishing up, it’s about pleasing her (plus, you’ll kind of seem like a selfish bitch).

3. Sweat

I don’t recommend going to the gym together as you want her (and you) to be secure in the way you look, smell and feel. That being said, if you’re working to build a real relationship, making her feel confident in her moment of post gym insecurity is certain to win you swoon points. But again, that caters to emotional development better than an immediate sexual one. For a sexually charged activity, try things that make you both sticky; hot baths, close dancing, long walks, saunas and beach activities are always good bets.

4. Charm

Charm her friends. Trust me, this can go a looonngggg way. When you date a girl, it usually means that you date her friends too, or at least it can feel like it. Think back to the episode of Friends where everyone likes Monica's new boyfriend way more than she does. Be charming and engaging, but also make sure not to pay too much attention to any particular friend that you didn’t know before, as that can breed suspicion. If you are worried about this happening, find balance by holding your lady’s hand, or other gentle contact during conversation to give her security in the situation. As an added bonus, it may make her friends a little jealous, and everyone likes to be envied now and then. Feeling empowered is sexy.

5. Talk

Did you know it isn’t always trashy and desperate to talk about sex on a date? That talking about sex actually can get us in the mood? Only attempt this gem if you both seem comfortable and things seem to be going well. I don’t want to know about the last girl you brought home; and no I don’t want to know how many partners you’ve had; oh you had crabs once? Yeah, leave that out too but do eventually practice safe sex when you get there. However, sharing funny experiences, hints about things you like (without going into great detail), things that excite you etc are all good starting points. Remember, when talking about past experiences, its best to avoid referencing a particular person. Its easier (and sexier) to dehumanize past partners and former endeavors while speaking to current love interests. Use phrases like “I used to see this girl who” or “This one time,” because frankly, I don’t want to know details about the chicks you screwed before me. If you (or your lady) aren’t comfortable talking the ins and outs of coitus, try something else personal to her like family, pets or other passions. Unless you’re mute, you've had a conversation before.

But lets recap shall we? Ask her about her. Ask questions relating to things she seems most open about - never pry. If she doesn’t feel comfortable telling you something personal, let it rest. You can probably Facebook or Google it later. Listening is hot.

Remember we are all different, what may work for you may not hit home for her. These tips will need tweaking to best fit each woman’s individuals like, dislikes and personality.

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Sara-Lynn Wheeler