15 Ways to Get Him Out of Your Head

Because dwelling in the past about your ex isn't healthy for you.

You may have an ex, a crush, or simply a close friend that you know can never be more than friends with. Whomever the elusive “he” is, you can’t stop thinking about him. You keep checking your phone to see if he’s texted. You imagine your wedding day, and even daydream about the little babies you plan to adopt together.

You need to stop. That's enough. This isn’t healthy for you. You know that, but you don't know what to do about it.

Fortunately, we have 15 tips to wash that man right out of your hair!

1. Stop texting him.

Let’s start with the most obvious, practical solution there is: stop texting him. When you text him, you then wait obsessively for him to respond. This extra rumination can drive you insane and actually makes you like him more (because now you have a valid-ish reason to think about him. “When is he gonna text me back?”)

2. Allow yourself an emotional night (or two)

It’s okay if this process isn’t immediate. So, while you’re not being too hard on yourself for missing him, remember that it’s okay to let yourself have some emotions every so often, too. Grab yourself a container of Ben & Jerry’s, put on your favorite animated movie, and let it all out, baby.

3. Delete/block all of his social media accounts.

Don’t check his Facebook status updates. Don’t check his Instagram to see if he’s posted himself with a new boo. While you’re at it, stop checking who’s viewed your stories in hopes that one of the names will be his. Just let him go.

4. Reconnect with a forgotten hobby.

Distraction could be the biggest key, here. Maybe there’s hobby or a pastime that you sort of let slide while you were talking to this guy. That’s okay! Just give yourself permission to go back to it and let your mind wander.

5. Don’t try to “figure him out.”

This x 100! Don’t attempt to figure out what he’s thinking. Or if he likes you too. Or why he said that (or didn’t say that). People often lie about things in an attempt to not hurt your feelings. Don’t obsesses over what he may or may not be thinking.

6. Remember, your thoughts aren’t facts.

On a similar note, remember that what you think you know isn’t necessarily the truth. Quite often, we hear what we want to hear, not what’s actually said. We have a selective memory of how things occur. Accept that you might not know exactly what’s going on in the situation and move on from there.

7. Think about ways to grow from the situation.

Every romantic and sexual experience is a learning opportunity. Try to learn what you can from him so it doesn’t feel like a “waste” of a relationship, friendship, or crush. What is it about him that you like? What did you do wrong in the relationship (if you did anything wrong at all)?

8. Think to the future, not the past.

While you are attempting to learn from what you did or didn’t do, don’t obsesses over the past. You learn and then move on. Think to the future. You don’t want to dwell on the past anymore than necessary.

9. Bone another dude.

You know yourself better than anyone. For some people, it’s really helpful to have sexual encounters with other people to help you get over someone. For others, it makes them miss their ex, crush, or whoever even more. But I would say don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

10. Talk to friends about THEIR problems.

It’s good that you’ve been venting to your friends, but at the same time, take the focus away from you. Talk to your buds about their issues. Be a good friend to them.

11. Have a friend’s night.

Go out with your girls! See a movie. Go to a drag show. Explore the city. Dance the night away. Remember that there’s more to life than boys. Not to sound cliche, but you don’t need a man to satisfy you or make you happy. And if you think all of your problems will disappear the moment you find Mr. Right, you’re in for a rude awakening.

12. Bone another dude.

Seriously though, bone another dude. Maybe the first guy was a bad lay. So like, give it ONE more try just in case.

13. Get rid of reminders of him.

Are you going through your phone looking at pics of the two of you together? Are you re-rereading text convos? Delete the pics. Delete the convo. Having reminders of him around the house or on your phone are not helping you get over him.

14. Stay away from places you frequented with him.

Did you two have a “spot” together? A bar or restaurant you frequented? At least for the time being, you need to stop going to that spot. You’re only going to think of him there. When you actually are over him, then (and only then) can you return and reclaim that spot as your own.

15. Don’t feel guilty/anger/annoyed over thinking about him.

This is huge. Don’t hate yourself for thinking about him, thinking, “Why am I obsessing? He wasn’t even that cool!” The heart wants what the heart wants. There's no reason to feel guilty for liking someone. Just do your best to utilize these tips and move on.