10 Most Oddly Profound Crazy Eyes Quotes

Sure, she's just a tiny bit terrifying, but you gotta admit Ms Eyes has one hell of a turn of phrase. We bring you her most deliciously deranged lines from across all three seasons.

10. Crazy Eyes in love. 

"I'm gonna call you 'Dandelion', because they're pretty and yellow just like you."

9. Crazy Eyes defending her love. 

"I threw my pie for you!"

8. Crazy Eyes still in love.

"I used to spend a lot of time thinking how I could make you love me. Like, if I had long pretty hair, or if I made a chocolate cake with frosting, or if I had a green bicycle."

7. Crazy Eyes on her career goals. 

"I would also like to work with round objects. Yeah, round things are very pleasing to me."

6. Crazy Eyes on what makes her tick.

"I like clock duty. Watchin' the clock and... smellin' the clock."

5. Crazy Eyes on her mental state.

"I'm not crazy, I'm unique."

4. Crazy Eyes on effective pest control methods.

"The trick is to imagine the bugs being bugged by you. You can't give away your power."

3. Crazy Eyes on smuggling an unconscious fellow prisoner out of the library.

"If only we had an invisibility cloak. Or an extremely deep and wide belly button."

2. Crazy Eyes on why it's literature, dahling!

"It's not just sex, it's love. It's two people connecting. With four other people. And aliens."

1. Crazy Eyes on pale imitators. 

“It’s chapter 9 of the Time Hump Saga. I didn’t write it, I found it in the bathroom. They go through a wormhole and when they come out, they meet sexy vampires. Vampires are derivative. Fan fiction is cheapening my legacy.”

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