8 Reasons You Should Absolutely Never Have Sex

Sex is just the worst. It doesn’t feel good. It’s frustrating. It’s tiring. Here are some reasons you should never under any circumstance have sex.

1. It feels terrible. 

Having sex just feels bad. Especially when you have an orgasm. Then it manages to somehow feel worse.

2. The build up to sex is so boring. 

You built up the courage to speak to him at the bar. You offered to buy him a drink. You danced all night. Right before you undress, you accidentally kissed the corner of his lips and you both blushed together. It wasn’t exciting at all.

3. The brain releases these stupid hormones during sex. 

Oxytocin, the bonding hormone, endorphins, and other hormones responsible for pleasure like dopamine are released during sex. Why is your brain trying to torture you?

4. Trying new positions is exhausting. 
Discovering new positions with someone you love that increases pleasure is so tiring. Can’t you just watch TV with him instead?

5. Seeing your man aroused is unappealing. 

Seeing your man all hot and sweaty while he pines for your touch is downright gross.

6. It’s awful exercise. 

Men burn 100 calories on average during sex. But you burn even more calories with physically demanding sex. So why bother?

7. You can feel weirdly close with your partner afterwards. 

After sex, you can start to feel weirdly bonded with your partner in a way that can take your relationship to a new level.

8. Cuddling after sex with your partner is annoying. 

It’s like, urgh, do I seriously have touch this guy I have a crush on even more?