While we haven’t kept up with the week-to-week adventures of arguably the cutest lesbian couple of characters to ever appear on network television, it is the beginning of sweeps and attention must be paid to Grey’s Anatomy’s Callie and Arizona, who had quite a lively episode Thursday.
And if you are one of the last remaining Callie and Arizona fans who hasn’t been able to run to the DVR or Tivo to catch just what went down -- SPOILERS AHEAD!
Last week Grey’s whipped out the big set-up for some major drama between Drs. Callie Torres (Sara Ramirez) and Arizona Robbins (Jessica Capshaw), with Arizona landing the prestigious Carter Madison Grant that would afford her the opportunity to treat 'tiny humans’ in Malawi. Following a semi-public fight over Arizona’s blithely forgetting to include Callie in her decision making that would take her to Africa for an undisclosed, albeit, long amount of time, the ‘it’ lesbian couple of network television announced they were off to save ‘tiny humans’ together, which seemed a little too clean, but certainly worked for those who love a happy ending.
Fast-forward to this week and Grey’s opening has Callie and Arizona packing up their love nest and parting with some precious cargo – Callie’s waffle maker and French Press coffee maker. Clearly not a coffee aficionado, although she lives in Seattle, Arizona attempts to unload the French Press on Mark (Eric Dane).
“Stop giving my things away,” Callie shouts, hinting at the first moment of discord between the lovelies. Being wise when he needs to be, Mark opts to pass on the press.
Next, the hot docs stop by Seattle Grace for some last-minute goodbyes, namely to Arizona’s kids in the pediatrics’ ward. There she collects some kid-made cards and going away prezzies that inspire Callie to throw a dagger about her coffee press – and I can’t blame her. That Arizona, as embodied by Capshaw, is mighty adorable and brainy, but don’t mess with a girl’s coffee maker. Period.
While at the hospital the adorable duo runs into the chief, who tosses doubt Callie’s way teasing her with the ‘big plans’ he had for her.
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Before Callie and Arizona depart Seattle Grace one last time a few of their colleagues throw a mini-going away party for them complete with cupcakes and not much else. An ungrateful Callie tosses some barbs about the lack of a real party while the chief rubs her nose in her missed opportunities since she opted to follow her heart – and her hot girlfriend.
None of Callie’s doubt goes unnoticed by Arizona, who’s looking exceedingly dismayed with every word Callie utters. Really, Callie should just tap into Sara Ramirez’s Broadway pipes and sing her way out of trouble with her lady.
Arizona returns home to finish packing while Callie stays behind to ostensibly take her mind off the inevitable, and watches Mark ‘give a lady a really big ass.’ As Mark and Callie are bffs and occasional fuck buddies, Mark lays it on the line for Callie. Employing a colorful metaphor using double d implants likening Callie’s tagging along to Africa to a woman getting a boob job to please her partner. He tells Callie she’s acting like someone who gets double ds “because their girlfriend likes a really big rack.”
“I love her Mark,” Callie says. And he tells her she needs to learn to love Africa as well. This is followed by a long embrace that elicited an “uh oh” reaction from at least this viewer. Clearly Mark will be there to console her should anything happen with Arizona.
The Callie and Arizona dénouement occurs at the airport as Callie is faux cheerfully chatting about how they are ‘going to focus on the medicine…’ And that’s when Arizona looks like she sucked an entire lemon tree. Expounding about how she won the Carter Madison Grant to help the ‘tiny humans,’ for which Arizona says she is, “over the moon," she then tells Callie, in no uncertain terms, “You are ruining Africa for me.” It was the whining and then it was the passive-aggressive enthusiasm about going that became the last straw for Arizona, she tells Callie. And Arizona is resolute. This is not going to end well.
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Rather than get on the plane to hash it out in an "18”-wide seat Arizona tells Callie she just doesn’t want to go to Africa with her. A gobsmacked Callie begins to beg her “please don’t do this,” but that little Arizona is a tough cookie when it comes to mixing her dreams with her relationship. “You stay here and be happy,” she says, adding that she'll go to Africa and be happy.
Callie, changing tactics, throws down that scary gauntlet that can totally work against a girl. “If you go without me we are over,” she says.
“We are standing in the middle of an airport screaming at each other,” Arizona says. “We’re already over.
Oh please…. Arizona is being just a bit of a prude here, I say. That is not real airport drama. Now, if Callie threw herself down on the filthy airport carpeting, clung to Arizona’s pant leg with one hand and to a bolted-down hard plastic terminal seat with the other screaming “please don’t leave,” and then followed it up with tequila shooters at the airport Mexican restaurant, that would have been a fight worthy of Arizona ending it. I mean, nobody even had to call airport security. Pshaw.
It remains to be seen how the storyline will play out, but it is sweeps month. Let’s hope it’s not with Callie running back into Mark’s arms for a quickie. Now it’s time for me to beg…please Shonda Rhimes don’t go that route!
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