Lesbian Crushes: Those Women We Loved

For budding lesbians, those early crushes on TV and movie stars heralded moments of real awakening. Where making out with boys by the schoolyard fence failed to arouse -- intense anticipation, butterflies in the stomach and an increased heart rate for the young girl sitting down to watch favorite shows like The Facts of Life, Charlie’s Angels, Wonder Woman and My So Called Life, were pretty strong harbingers of her impending dykedom.

From the usual suspects like Angelina Jolie and Kristy McNichol to the more heady crushes like Catherine Deneuve to the just plain odd like Carolyn Jones as Morticia Addams in the television show -- with the help of a swath of dyed-in-the-wool lady lovers -- we’ve compiled a list of famous faces that sparked pre and post-pubescent, lusty girl-crushes.

While each gal on the list gets just about a line, I’ve broken them down into categories including Tomboys, Bad-ass Femmes, Bad-Asses, Bitchy Femmes, Straight-up Femmes, Sophisticated Women and Old Hollywood and Just Plain Oddballs, for more easy consumption -- and the bad-ass femmes are the clear winners. This list is by no means comprehensive and thanks to all who contributed including L.A., Rachel, Robyn, Caren, Dani, Dawn, Kara and Patti.

The Tomboys

Jodie Foster: As a tough tom-boy in Martin Scorsese’s Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, Jodie Foster was that tree-climbing, toughie, jeans and sneakers wearing little girls could identify with, but with the persistent lesbian rumors and her Oscar win as the steely Clarice Starling in Silence of the Lambs, Jodie continues to woo the ladies.

Kristy McNichol: As a tomboy named Buddy on the hit show Family, Kristy was the girl-next-door all the baby dykes wanted to be, but when she went toe to toe with Tatum O’Neal and lost her virginity to Matt Dillon, in Little Darlings, Kristy had sealed her place in the girl-crush hall of fame.

Nancy McKeon: All the girls swooned when Nancy McKeon’s Jo arrived at the prissy Facts of Life girls’ boarding school decked out in a motorcycle jacket and boots. The girls who didn’t want to be Jo longed to wrap themselves around her on the back of her bike.

Mary Stuart Masterson: As the overlooked love interest in John Hughes’ Some Kind of Wonderful, Mary Stuart was the quintessential, eighties, baby dyke with her short, platinum blonde coif, and her leather driving gloves. But as the hard-edged southern gal and Mary Louise Parker’s unspoken lover Idgie Threadgood in Fried Green Tomatoes, Mary Stuart earned her place in the collective hearts of lesbians everywhere.

Angelina Jolie: While this superstar lesbian crush defines the bad-ass femme, her turn as a free-spirited tom-boy and pied piper to a posse of young women in Foxfire -- the movie that introduced her to her on again off again girlfriend Jenny Shimizu -- earns Angie her place with Jodie and the gang.

The Straight-up Femmes:

Darryl Hannah: Who doesn’t love a hot blonde mermaid? Darryl Hannah made quite the splash as a drop-dead stunning fish out of water in Splash. Later, she proved she was more than a pretty face -- and bod -- as the nerdy born-again Christian Annelle in the feel-good cry-fest Steel Magnolias.

Jessica Lange: Just so pretty as the love interest in Tootsie… There was something so sweet about her character, who thought she fell in love with a woman that was really Dustin Hoffman in drag. From that Oscar nominated turn, Lange went on to play unhinged women better than just about any actress in Hollywood.

Annabeth Gish: From the sixties-era romp Shag to her role as Julia Roberts big-brained little sis in Mystic Pizza, Annabeth always gave off that fresh-faced women’s college kind of look. Now she’s smoking weed and engaging in extramarital sex in Showtime’s Brotherhood.

Mary Louise Parker:Fried Green Tomatoes’ Masterson nabbed the juicy, butchy role, but Mary Louise, as the beautiful and level-headed Ruth Jamison, proved there’s strength in beauty. Not long after, Mary Louise won Whoopi Goldberg’s heart in the girl-centric road trip Boys on the Side. Now she’s a sexy, suburban, pot-selling MILF on Weeds.

Marie Osmond: While the straight young girls suffered “Puppy Love” over Donny’s perfect white chompers, baby dykes tuned into the Donny and Marie show for Marie’s raven hair and her bossy quips at brother Donny. Fans of Marie were and are more than just “A Little Bit Country.”

Valerie Bertinelli: Cutie-pie Valerie Bertinelli was just eat-her-with-a-spoon adorable as Barbara Cooper on One Day at a Time. A mere peanut of a thing, Valerie sealed the deal with her young female fans when she donned over-sized sunglasses and dressed in Elton John drag. As the new Jenny Craig spokeswoman, Val’s as cute as ever if not just a little more to love.

The Bitchy Femmes:

Lisa Whelchel: As the bitchy, self-involved school-girl-uniform clad Blair Warner on The Facts of Life, Lisa Whelchel warmed young submissives' hearts. A born-again Christian, Lisa’s been out of the limelight since the show was cancelled but the thought of Lisa’s assets putting pressure on her school vest buttons, still gets the budding gay girl’s blood flowing.

Tatum O’Neal: The ying to Kristy McNichol’s yang in Little Darlings’ cherry-popping race to the finish, Tatum won over as many hearts as the rich-bitch Ferris, as Kristy’s tom-boy Angel. But Tatum’s got her tom-boy stats too. She was the best pitcher in the league as the only girl on the team in the original Bad News Bears and at age 10, she pulled an Academy Award for her tom-boy turn in Paper Moon. That’s right Tatum, we like a girl who can flip!

Alison Arngrim: What was it about Alison Arngrim’s Nasty Nellie on Little House on the Prairie that made you just want to pull her perfect pipe curl pig tails? A tattle tale and an all-around bitch, Nellie was the kind of girl you could picture play-fighting with for just a little longer than was appropriate.

Pamela Sue Martin: This red-headed doll played the ultimate sleuth Nancy Drew in the 1970’s series but Pamela really proved her bitchy femme appeal as the conniving, sexpot Fallon Carrington on Dynasty. When she wasn’t plotting against her step-mother, she was donning equestrian clothing and a riding crop… nuff said for the horse-loving dykes among us.

- Check back next week when we count down Bad-assed femmes, Sophisticated Ladies and Oddball Crushes!