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Fight For Your Voice Because You're Worth The Scars

Fight For Your Voice Because You're Worth The Scars

It’s not hard to have a voice, but it is hard finding the courage to use it.


It's easy for us to feel emotionally unbalanced when we don’t know what we stand for. Have we spent most of our lives conforming for others that we've forsaken ourselves? Instead of using our voice, have we let someone else do the talking? 

A lot of queer people are scared to rock the boat in their personal lives. It’s easier to please society, our parents, and our friends by going with the flow of things. For men specifically,  we think becoming an ideal “man” is the only way we will be accepted. The more we hide our true selves, the less of a target we’ll be. But is it worth the sacrifice?

Fighting for our voice is not only a human right; it’s a choice everyone has to make to become whole. Countless of people around the world continue to be suppressed by governments, and many of them will never know what it’s like to have a voice — until they see someone who does.

Speaking up for your life is a learned habit, a skill. As humans, we’re all born with an impulse to survive. Everyone wants to prevent their own extinction and we do basically anything to deflect it. As a result, we are naturally attracted to groups that are likely to survive, i.e. “popular” groups. Though in this digital age, it's become "popular" fads. 

It is natural for human beings to follow because we all want to survive. The last thing we want is to be associated with groups or people or fads that lack a will to survive. This is why most of us would rather do what’s popular than what’s right.

To lead, actually, is to think beyond our human capabilities and recognize we have already survived! We’re here, rulers of the world. We no longer need to worry about going extinct, except for the death within ourselves.

In today’s world, the impulsive need to survive tends to get in the way. It’s at the root of our fears toward each other, our need to assume the worst, and a recurring habit to blame others for our issues.

Society has brainwashed us into thinking we have to be better than everyone else instead of growing as individuals. (While we might not care about being the best at something, we at least want to be better than you.) It’s all about winning the game of survival.

We want to be acknowledged, especially within our community. Many queer youths have given up the battle, and have willingly become isolated from peers: “If no one’s going to accept me, I guess I’m a freak and don’t belong anywhere.” Because it’s also our nature to judge, we use opportunities like this to enhance our social value.

People enjoy watching others draw themselves into a pit of despair because it means they’re better off — “Phew! At least I’m not that bad.” Rather than helping each other up, we push each other down. As a result, we backtrack progress not only as a community, but as a species. (Yes, it's that deep.) 

As a species, we found our voice by showing others how loud we can be. That’s how we’ve become immortal, through artistic expression and ideas. Instead of standing back and watching each other fail, we have to look our fears and impulses in the face, and realize we’re worth the battle.

We survive by building, not by destroying.

There is no one else in the world who can speak for you. Not your parents, friends, children, coworkers, or bosses. After all, they're all busy trying to speak for their own plights. With so many fingers pointing at you, it's better to find your own direction.

The only direction taking us to new and fulfilling journeys is the one we set out for ourselves. Finding our voice, and using it, will bring us all home. We might get scars from time to time, but trust me, they heal faster than emotional scars from others.

Conforming to others is a habit too hard to break. You’re likely to forget who you really are. If all you're living your life by other people's rules, you're never going to map out your own. That's the beauy of being alive — we get to craft our own story. 

And the only way to do that is to speak up. Stop being afraid to say, “No. I’m better than that!”

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David Artavia

David Artavia is the managing editor at The Advocate magazine and Plus magazines, as well as an editor Chill magazine and Follow him on Facebook @TheDavidArtavia and Instagram: @DMArtavia.

David Artavia is the managing editor at The Advocate magazine and Plus magazines, as well as an editor Chill magazine and Follow him on Facebook @TheDavidArtavia and Instagram: @DMArtavia.