How much sex is too much sex and how little sex is not enough?

I'm not in to overdoing things. I like most things in moderation-- okay-- I like everything in moderation.  I remember cooking a meal with a an ex and her telling me, "there can never be to much garlic."

I retorted, "There can be to much garlic, especially if you're baking a cake." And I love garlic.

I can't think of anything that I just want gobs and gobs of -- not even money. I don't like excess.

I was recently thinking about this couple last year that was appearing all over the morning shows talking about their "experiment."

The wife said, "We decided to have sex everyday for a year." Do you remember them? I remember tuning in to The Today Show one morning and hearing their announcement.

I put down my tea and picked up my remote.

The tired looking husband and tight-lipped wife went on about their intimacy and connection.

When their segment ended I started wondering... Could I have sex- with someone else --  mind you - everyday? I say someone else, because I swore off having my sex with myself when I was 13, when I thought that I might become addicted to masturbating to images of Boy George and Alfonso Ribero (the Silver Spoons Alfonso Ribero. Not The Fresh Prince of Bel Air Alfonso Ribero).

Regardless, I thought better of it at a young age.

So, this very square looking couple was having sex everyday-- EVERYDAY.  Why would they want to have sex everyday, I thought?

I looked at this, we-had-sex-everyday-for-a-year couple, and they seemed mad average.  Neither one of them looked like they would be swinging from the rafters every day.  Actually, they didn't look like the swinging from the rafters on any day types. I found myself getting a little defensive.

She's probably not even "getting there" with that man! Hmm, take that!

He's probably reaping all of the benefits, hmmm, typical man!

I don't need to have sex everyday-- hmmmm, so there!

I don't want to have sex everyday-- hmmm, go fly a kite.

After my final middle school retort I got this kind of sinking feeling inside.  Should I want to have sex everyday? What if the person I marry --when gay people are one day aloud to get married in New York -- wants to have sex everyday?  Would I be able to deliver?  Immediately, I was thrown back into a past relationship in which my girlfriend and I were having problems in that department.  She wanted to have sex just about everyday, and me... all I really wanted was a nap. 

Eventually we had to compromise and shoot for a middle ground of two or three days a week.  Is that enough? Is that too much?  Is the amount of sex your having a barometer for the relationship? Is the frequency of sex even something that should be compromised? Relationships come with a lot of negotiation. Who's house we'll do the holidays (if both of our parents are okay with us loving each other).

more on next page...

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(continued)

I'm sure there is a compromise in there somewhere.  The division of labor -- you hate taking out the trash, so I'll take out the trash as long as you vacuum and sweep. Sure, that seems like there's some wiggle room or space to negotiate. But sex?

I don't know what I would say if my one day future wife comes home with that book about 365 days of sex, so in the spirit of planning ahead I've devised a list of reasons why 365 days of sex may not be the thing to do:

10.It's a leap year everything is null and void.

9.My mother is here for Thanksgiving and you know how you make me scream!

8.Your parents are here for Presidents Day-and you know how you make me scream!

7.My aunt Flow

6.Your aunt Flow

5.Everything is beginning to blend in and look alike, it's confusing.

4.I have carpel tunnel.

3.It's Valentines Day.

2.I'm not a rabbit even though I occasionally wear the bunny costume for you.

1.I don't want to.

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