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Tom Sandoval Says He Was 'Very Close' To Suicide Amid Cheating Scandal

Tom Sandoval Says He Was 'Very Close' To Suicide Amid Cheating Scandal

Tom Sandoval
Joe Seer/Shutterstock

The Vanderpump Rules star opens up on the first episode of his new podcast.

Vanderpump Rules star Tom Sandoval admits to being “very, very close” to committing suicide after he became a household name earlier this year when news of his cheating scandal nearly broke the internet.

Seven months after the bombshell affair came to light, he’s finally opening up about the toll “Scandoval” had on his mental health, admitting on the first episode of his new podcast Everybody Loves Tom that he struggled with suicidal thoughts during the fallout from cheating on his long-term girlfriend Ariana Madix with their friend and fellow cast member Raquel Leviss.

The reality TV star revealed that he met Linkin Park’s Chester Bennington mere days before the singer’s tragic suicide in July 2017, but he admitted he “never understood” why Bennington had taken his own life until he started having the same thoughts in the wake of his cheating scandal. Once he got into “that headspace” it was like a “domino effect,” he said as reported by ET.

“Your world starts collapsing on itself and you cannot see outside of your feelings,” the 40-year-old star explained. “Your peripheral goes away. Your sense of thinking about the future, your ability to snap out of it goes away. And there were some times where I was, you know, felt very, very close.”


Sandoval revealed that he was “so, so glad” he had a group of close friends to rely on while he went through this challenging experience, including former Vanderpump Rules cast member Billie Lee.

The Bravolebrity also said he quit drinking in May, admitting that before that if he “wasn’t working out” he was “drinking.”

“I haven’t drank since — I believe it was April 4th or 5th,” he said. “I didn’t really tell a lot of people during the process. I think that kind of helps. I also quit smoking cigarettes. I was kind of at the point where I was just chain-smoking cigarettes all day, every day.”

Sandoval credited going on tour with his band Tom Sandoval & The Most Extras for playing a crucial role in saving his life. “Honestly, I think that, you know, quitting the drinking and going on tour like, it might have actually saved my life,” he said.

Following the controversy surrounding their six-month-long affair, Leviss underwent mental health treatment in Arizona, where the lack of contact left Sandoval feeling lonely.

"I was like at her beck and call in a sense because you couldn’t have your phone in there. No access to anything. And so I had to wait for her call, which can only happen maybe twice, once a day," he said. "And so when I would get that call from her, it would be like, 'Oh, my gosh.' But I was constantly waiting there. And then, you know, some days I wouldn't get that call and it would, you know, it would really affect my mood."

Since then, Leviss made the choice to step away from Vanderpump Rules while Sandoval has already begun filming season 11.

He said that the experience taught him some valuable lessons and made him realize he had been “selfish.”

"It has been such a learning experience, you know, with going through everything and with what I did and taking time to actually see the repercussions of my actions," he admitted. "And, you know, when you're in a scenario like that and you're so emotionally wrapped up in your feelings, you don't think logically and you're just f**king selfish."

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis contact the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

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Ariel Messman-Rucker

Ariel Messman-Rucker is an Oakland-born journalist who now calls the Pacific Northwest her home. When she’s not writing about politics and queer pop culture, she can be found reading, hiking, or talking about horror movies with the Zombie Grrlz Horror Podcast Network.

Ariel Messman-Rucker is an Oakland-born journalist who now calls the Pacific Northwest her home. When she’s not writing about politics and queer pop culture, she can be found reading, hiking, or talking about horror movies with the Zombie Grrlz Horror Podcast Network.