We’ve all been there. You casually stroll into Whole Foods or you’re standing in the longest Well’s Fargo line ever, and suddenly you make eye contact with some random stranger. But instead of brushing them off and glancing at the next person in your line of sight, you get that feeling in your gut: “She’s probably gay.”
Even if you think your gaydar is wrong, it’s pretty simple to figure out if you’re right. With each awkward moment that passes, the clearer it is to know that the girl you just locked eyes with is G-A-Y:
1. You have a heated and (literal) gut wrenching reaction just by making eye contact. She’s staring right into your gay little soul and she gets you.
2. As you keep moving through the store, you feel her eyes on you. It's very likely that she's checking out your bod.
3. You find every opportunity to look at her, too, since she did just eye assault you a second ago.
4. You also check out she is with, trying to discern if these people are dating, or if that’s just her friend.
YOU WANT DEETS. YOU NEED THEM.
5. If you haven’t started to already, you start whispering to whomever you're with, because, of course, you found the only other lesbian in the store.
6. You wonder why this awkwardness is even a thing, and why you can’t just go up and hug fellow lesbians when you spot one another in the world?
7. Or maybe, have a secret handshake? A handshake that all lesbians know, and use when they’re in this very situation. It would be so cool and alleviate so many awk-weird feels.
This could be us all, girls! Why are we all playing?
8. After obsessing over this potentially fellow lesbian, you zone out, and the next thing you know, you forget why you are even in the store in the first place.
9. If you make eye contact again, you try to smile with your eyes and say, “Hey, I know we're both gay, so let’s acknowledge it and be BFFs.”
10. After all the awkwardness, you either end up asking her for number, or you run out the door with butterflies and rosy cheeks.
Spotting lesbians in the wild may sometimes be awkward, but it doesn't have to be that way. We really need to develop a secret handshake or something.