No One Cares If You're a 'Gold Star' Lesbian

Photo: Brooke Cagle

Gold Star. It’s the phrase that just won’t die. From queer media, to the queer women in our everyday lives, we hear it over, and over, and over again, despite the problematic nature of the term. Not only is it biphobic AND misogynistic as hell, but it makes it seem like there’s something better about having never-had-penis-in-vagina sex. Oh, and it’s cissexist, because it for sure does the penis = man thing.

Basically: UGH. Let’s just remove it from our vocabulary forever and ever.

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We’re not the only ones who hate it.

i hate the concept of a "gold star" lesbian

— bones || 17 (@bonesholtzmann) August 14, 2016

Some just think it’s really effing annoying.

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Some people think it’s not so bad.

While others remind us that it simply isn’t a requirement to be queer.

And that, at the end of the day, your sexual history isn’t anyone’s business.

I hate when people ask the "are you a gold star lesbian" question...that's so weird mind ya business.

— n (@tragicmuIatto) August 2, 2016

On the bright side, some people are shifting the term in a way that’s actually pretty cool.

If you want to call yourself a Gold Star, we're not going to stop you. But don't get a superiority complex about it. It's not cool.