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Some women are simply not looking forward to the annual spectacle of Valentine’s Day. Usually they fall into three categories: the long-term marrieds (who has time for romance when the bills are due?), the single girls (when will I find Ms. Right?), and the recently dumped (pretty self-explanatory). You can always pull up the new WotWentWrong app, which lets you find out why that last lady love didn’t last or you can try one of these top tips from Caird Urquhart, the author of the new book 30 Ways to Better Days: How to Rally After You’ve Been Dumped to help you put the bounce back in your step and enjoy yourself.
Declare a National Dysfunctional Day:
Skip worth, drop of out life, and make the day all about resting and regrouping. Put the PJs on; put on a great old movie (perhaps one with a doomed romance?) Surround yourself with your favourite foods and give yourself permission to do nothing. It’s just 24 hours. It will pass.
Spend the day with new friends:
If people don’t know your story they won’t ask you about it. That will allow you to engage in fresh conversation and meet new people. You never know where it will lead.
Gay men rock:
If you are a woman who has just been dumped having a gay male friend could be your ticket to a fabulous Valentine’s Day. Let him take you out on a no-pressure date and have a great time knowing that there is no hidden agenda and no chance that (unlike with all your exes) you’ll get drunk and end up in bed together.
Or, try recycling:
Pull out your blue box of ex-lovers is a recycling program. I am friends with most of my exes. Who needs a new partner when old girlfriends are ready to step up to the plate and wine and dine you?
Pamper yourself:
Check into a spa. Get a massage. Have your nails done, a Brazilian wax, whatever girlie thing you enjoy. Give yourself a hug (or more). You know better than anyone what pleases you. Indulge at a spa or home in your own bed.
Plan ahead: If you think you’re going to have a hard time on Valentine’s, make a plan. Don’t wait until the last minute expecting or hoping someone else will do it for you. Take charge. Line up friends, call your therapist, put that app on your phone that won’t let you call your ex-girlfriend — whatever it takes to make it through.
Or, just ignore it. Seriously don’t get caught up in all the pressure that commercialism has created about Valentine’s Day. This year it’s on a Tuesday. Nobody goes out on a Tuesday. Don’t feel obligated to even acknowledge it. By Wednesday February 15th you’ll be wondering why you fussed about it at all.
Caird Urquhart’s 30 Ways to Better Days...How to Rally After You’ve Been Dumped is a self-help book aimed at women who have just gone through a relationship break-up. A personal and business coach, Caird is the founder of New Road Coaching.
