Mormon Utah County Commissioner Comes Out as Gay

Nathan Ivie, a Mormon Republican Utah County Commissioner, came out as gay in a Facebook video on Wednesday.

“After decades of wrestling with who I really am, I’ve come to understand and accept some things about myself that have not been easy,” he said, just coming out with his truth: “I’m gay.”

Ivie, who is now 40, discussed his long journey to self-acceptance, including a failed suicide attempt at 22.

He knew there was something “different” about him from the age of nine, but because the world he grew up in was unaccepting of LGBTQ identities, he was unable to reconcile what he was feeling.

“My orientation and attractions were not those that were expected of me,” Ivie said. “Not the ones I was taught to expect for that matter. I believed there was something wrong with me and I fought from the beginning to find some way to change myself.”

Ivie went on to say that he tried to live the life that he felt was expected of him, but he ultimately “never felt comfortable in [his] own skin” during that time.

And even though it took several decades to come to terms with who he was, he said, finally:

“I realized I could not continue to live a lie.”

Ivie came out to the people close to him prior to making his public announcement, and said he has been grateful that most of them have expressed that they still love him, even though not all of them understand his new reality. And that he and his wife will be separating, but continue to be best friends and co-parents to their two children.

But despite the long road, Ivie doesn’t have many regrets about waiting as long as he did to come to terms with his sexuality.

“Without the experiences I went through, I wouldn’t be who I am today," he said.