Madonna's Alleged 36-Year-Old Illegitimate Son Goes by 'Material Boy'

A "movie" trailer has surfaced on the Internet alleging that Madonna has more than a fanatical exercise regime; she has a 36-year-old illegitimate, bastard son.

"On December 24, 1973, a young, 15-year-old girl named Madonna gave birth to a boy in a hospital in Michigan. Now, 36 years later, the best ever kept secret in the history of pop music will be revealed."

So says the opening narrative for a trailer to Material Boy, threatening our livelihood by hitting theaters in August 2010. The Advocate reports that a man has come forward claiming to be the son of Madonna and even made a film documenting his strange and bizarre existence.

As the trailer suggests, Madonna's new "adult" son likes to roam the streets naked like an abandoned dog, thrust his pelvis, lie in a grave and pose strapped to a cross. But the truth is I couldn't watch it more than once. I was afraid my eyes would be injured beyond repair.

Clearly, it is likely that the unknown male portrayed in the video clip has no relation to the material girl herself and is just looking to cash in. However, stranger things have happened! Watch the trailer at your own discretion-in other words, clear your immediate area of any sharp objects that could be detrimental to yourself.