7 Absurd Things Every Femme Has Been Asked

7 Absurd Things Every Femme Has Been Asked

Femme identity is a manicured finger to society that challenges what queer people are "supposed to" look like.

Once upon a time (and for many shitty people of the world today), it was assumed that queer women were trying to be men, so a femme aesthetic confused the hell out of homophobic armchair psychologists. While in some situations being femme comes with privilege, there’s usually also an annoying flip side to the coin. Yes, a bouncer may let you into a club quicker, but that’s not always the case if it’s a gay bar. And once inside said club, good luck dealing with the mosquito swarm of straight men who not only harass you, but who dismiss your orientation when you reject them and give them the undeserved information of where you fall on the sexuality spectrum.

Here are seven absurd questions every femme has been asked.

1. "Who’s your friend?"

Her? The woman I’m sitting next to holding hands with? She’s my date, and who I’m trying to go home with. We’re here for the Taco Tuesdays deal. So kindly zip it and stick to making that margarita.

2. "Can I buy you a drink?"

Oh, man. Did you think because I’m wearing makeup and jewelry that I was straight? And did you assume by default that meant I’m interested? I already have a drink, and even if I was straight, my answer would be no.

3. "Interested in a threesome later?"

Sorry dude, but the only thing we’re adding to our sex life later is something that came from Babeland. Interested in a lecture on the difference between gender presentation and sexual orientation?

4. "You know this is a gay bar, right?"

Yes, that’s why I’m here. I am part of the spectrum all of these rainbow flags represent. Now let me make out with my date and kindly act more welcoming to members of your own community.

5. "So are you two like..."

Totally in love and totally going to go down on each other later? Yes, we are. Oh god, you’re going to think about us when you go home and jerk off now, aren’t you? EW.

6. "You’re into women? Hot."

It is hot. I’m a confident and attractive queer woman who is self-aware enough not to make everything about me. Unlike you, who seems to think everything in the world, including my orientation, is about you. I actually don’t even think about you, so please go away now to make that easier.

7. "Wait, you’re gay? You don’t look it."

What does gay look like? A butch woman covered in tattoos on a motorcycle? A rainbow-patterned unicorn shitting glitter? Kindly take your old-fashioned stereotypes out of here.