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Sex can be awkward sometimes, and unfortunately, there isn't much you can do about it. We've already been over the 33 Awkward Moments That Happen During Man-on-Man Sex but that hardly scratched the surface of uncomfortable experiences. Here are 18 more awkward things that can happen when dudes are getting it on.
1. When you run out of lube
And want to cry because you’re so close to finishing.
2. When he pulls down his pants and you realize there's no way he’s ever going to fit inside you.
There’s big and then there’s BIG.
3. When you ruin the mood by playing with his Prince Albert and nipple ring.
He just wants to screw, but you’re too distracted flicking that shiny thing.
4. When you accidentally catch a load in your eye
You’re not fooling anyone by claiming you have “pink eye.”
5. When you can't find his butthole
You’re poking around down there to no avail, while he’s just twiddling his thumbs waiting for you.
6. When he looks nothing like his Grindr profile
So was that from 15 years ago or did you have a botched plastic surgery job recently?
7. When you can't finish no matter what
And after a jaw and two hand cramps, he finally gives up.
8. When you realize you're both tops or bottoms
Wait, how did you get this far without realizing it?
9. When you have to pee right as things are heating up
And you can’t decide whether to hold it, ruin the moment by running to the bathroom, or just pee on him.
10. When you want to bottom more than anything in the world, but you know your anal fissures can't handle it
Don’t worry, you’re not alone. It’s a lot more common than you think.
11. When you thought he brought condoms
And realize right before you’re about to do it that neither of you have. So you put on a pair of sweat pants and frantically sprint over to the nearest CVS.
12. When you finish having sex and smell a delightfully pungent and poopy aroma
But you don’t care because hey, you just had some sex.
13. When he pulls your chest hair too hard
And you want to tell him that it’s no longer sexy. It just hurts.
14. When the condom breaks midway through
And you’re not sure how long it’s been broken for.
15. When your sheets look like a ghost exploded
And you know you should wash them… but like…you just did last week.
16. When the spark wears off midway
You’re right in the middle of heating things up… and then you’re just over it.
17. When he takes too long to finish after you
We’re all trying to be equal here, but sometimes after you finish, it’s hard to stay in the mood when the other one is still working on it ten minutes later.
18. When you forget his name
I mean… thanks?