Gleecaps: Home

This episode opens with Sue telling her newest Cheerios, Kurt and Mercedes, that their looks don’t fit the Cheerios standard. Since Sue is getting the front page of some useless cheerleading magazine, a reporter will be coming to interview her and her team, so Me rcedes must lose 10 pounds in one week.

Sue has taken the Glee auditorium for a week for her team to practice before the feature, and this upsets Glee club greatly. Which is confusing to me since I don’t recall them practicing in the auditorium at all…

Will takes a trip to a terrifying roller rink only to meet Kristen Chenoweth – I mean his old friend April! I wish I liked her, and maybe I’m a bad gay because I don’t, but it’s bad enough hearing Bruce Springsteen’s “Fire” – I don’t need her and Will to skate around and awkwardly duet. She offers to let the kids practice at the roller rink, and she also offers to sublease his apartment he’s trying to get rid of since the divorce.

Meanwhile, back at the club, Kurt belts “A House Is Not A Home.” I can’t tell if Kurt is singing to Finn because he’s in love with him, or because he’s trying to convince him that it’s okay that their parents are dating. Either way, I found the song a bit slow and distracting. I wish Rachel would sing.

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Back at Will’s place, April is getting ready to have a platonic sleepover when she starts in on Burt Bacharach’s “One Less Bell To Answer” – it starts off nice and quiet, then it suddenly turns into a weird singing battle between April and Will. Since they’re both lonely in separate rooms, they go to sleep spooning in a freakishly large bed.

Kurt’s father and Finn’s mother take their kids to dinner to celebrate this newfound family that they’ve created. Finn is a brat and refuses to toast with them, but soon perks up with Kurt’s dad starts talking to him about football. This sends Kurt into a tizzy, as later he throws a fit at his dad for not having “guy talk” with him. This confuses me … Kurt is completely unable to talk about football, and his dad has already “sat through three years of Riverdance.” But jealousy rears its ugly head, and Kurt asks his dad to leave his room as he is “a half hour late on my moisturizing routine”.

Mercedes is struggling to lose the ten pounds ordered by Sue. She gets cranky at her friends and soon she gets delusional – they turn into lifesize pieces of chocolate cake and ice cream. This is one of my favorite moments. Mercedes passes out, and Quinn helps bring her back up by telling her she is better than all of this, and that she’s beautiful no matter what.

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In possibly the most selfish move yet, Kurt and Finn decide to break up their parents. Kurt says that he’s hurt by his father’s new favoritism of Finn, and Finn says that he doesn’t like the fact that his mom is “forgetting” his dad. It doesn’t work, however. Finn’s mom smacks him down and tells him to quit being selfish, and that they “need a family – a home.” Even though it’s a bit heavy handed with the title of the episode, this is a really touching scene.

Finally, the reporter comes to the Cheerios pep rally and tells Sue that her article is not just a fluff piece, that it’s actually a hard-hitting investigation. Mercedes takes center stage, saying that Cheerios seems to be about looking hot, winning, and being popular – but she thinks it should be about something different. Predictably, she starts singing Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful”. Although we saw it coming, it was great when the whole school came down to sing together – Quinn finally included. I’ve missed her!

The reporter meets Sue in her office, telling her that when he met her, he “instantly disliked” her. He found her rude and bossy, and explains “the fact that twice you called me Re-Run, makes me think you’re a little racist.” Just when you think he’s going to blow the lid off of Sue Sylvester’s evil ways, he says that he was WRONG. What a twist! He says that it was inspiring to see Cherrios of all shapes and sizes singing about self-esteem, and that she is a “visionary” in the field of Cheerleading. Sue looks utterly confused, as my mouth fell agape.

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Finn and Kurt’s father have a confrontation in front of the refrigerator, which turns surprisingly sweet. As Finn is about to presumably tell him that he doesn’t want him in his house, Kurt’s father tells him that he really loves his mother, and that he’ll never hurt her or leave her. Finn is obviously surprised and touched, and together the two men watch the basketball game.

Finally, April comes to the Glee club to tell Will that she bought the auditorium for New Directions! He doesn’t know what to say, but the kids have it under control. April comes out in a white evening gown to sing “Home” [of course]. As I mentioned earlier, I’m not a Kristen Chenoweth fan, so this didn’t do it for me at all. But I can only assume that next week will be right up my alley since MOLLY SHANNON is guest starring! So be sure to tune in next Tuesday!

Best Sue line: "Sue explains her special fat flush beverage that each Cheerio guzzles down:  “Maple syrup, for glucose, lemon, for acid, cayenne pepper to irritate the bowels, and a dash of ipecac -  a vomiting agent. I haven’t had a solid meal since 1987."

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